SPONSOR

One effect of alcoholism is that many of us are reluctant to get close to people. We have learned that it is not safe to trust, to reveal too much, to care deeply. Yet we often wish we could experience closer, more loving relationships. A gentle way of approaching this goal is through sponsorship. By asking some one to sponsor me, I express a willingness to experience more intimate relationship. My sponsor helps me to learn to receive love, but I also learn about giving. The interchange between sponsor and sponsored is a form of communication that will nourish both of you. He can be a wonderful le model. I can best put what I learn in to practice by passing it on.

Having a sponsor gives newcomers someone to talk with – someone who hopefully is well grounded in the Steps. Being a sponsor gives someone with time the chance to reach out to another in a real and practical way.

But a sponsor doesn't have all the answers; a sponsor can't keep someone sober. All a sponsor can really do is set an example and make suggestions. And the cautions against opposite sex sponsorship are worth considering. But sponsorship is not a lifetime contract. At its best it's an every deepening friendship, based on mutual honesty and self-revelation, allowing both parties to grow from their own experience, strength and hope. When it's less than that, the relationship needs to be changed. Sponsor is a guide and serves as a mentor to another new member in the fellow ship. It is a part of the recovery process.

A sponsor is a reassuring lifeline to sobriety of a new comer in the recovery program. For those who have gone through treatment, a sponsor is an introduction to AA and a mirror in which to try out their new reflection in the real world. And for those with many years of sobriety, a sponsor is a friend who knows them better than any one else in the world, who is both a sounding board and a security blanket, in good and bad times. New member can be referred to as a “sponsee” or “pigeon”.

Selecting a sponsor is a significant step in recovery. It is your sponsor you will turn to when a crisis arises. The sponsor is well along in his own recovery process, and gets to know your situation but is not emotionally involved in your life. The advice & opinions offered by him are more valuable than what your emotions will tell you. Like selecting a spouse, selecting a sponsor is very personal. The sponsor right for you might be wrong for some one else.

What Sponsor should be?

1. Availability.

2. Long sobriety-3 or 4 years.

3. Quality sobriety, which includes solid sobriety with happiness in life and respected by the group. Should be a good speaker and should have strong foundation in AA program.

4. Broad AA interests in local, regional and national programs.

5. Record of success.

6. Congeniality-Should be easy to talk and listen to-and makes you comfortable with and have confidence in.

7. Trustworthiness: So you can share your deepest and intimate feelings and problems.

8. Objectivity: Spouse, love and a friend might be appealing but not appropriate as a sponsor.

9. Same gender as the sponsee.

10. Toughness: Shows tough love and be able to confront you.

11. Compassion: Despite tough love who can point out your good points and help you build up your feelings of self-worth.

12. Compatible life style and family: Having the same kind of background.

Choosing a sponsor is important but using his experience in sobriety is more important. Don’t just leave contact to a chance? I see my sponsor almost daily. Have a regular time to speak to your sponsor daily. Confer when-ever and wherever it’s most convenient.

Fourth step should be done with the sponsor. Raise your questions and objections to his suggestions. Keep him posted as to what is happening in your life. Should there be any temptation, cravings or headed for a slip, call him immediately. Some people might need more than one sponsor.

In the end, your sponsor will be only as good as your willingness to take full advantage of the relationship.

SERENITY

CALMNESS of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought with spiritual progress.

A man becomes calm in the measure that he understands himself as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as he develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect he ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.
The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, and his power for good. The individual will find his prosperity increase as he develops a greater self-control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a man whose demeanor is strongly equable. The individual who considers every one equal is religious.

The strong, calm man is always loved and revered. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. "Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character, which we call serenity, is the calm man, having learned how.

The last lesson of culture; it is the flowering of life, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life--a life that dwells in the ocean of Truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the Eternal Calm!

“Truth is above all and above Truth is truthful conduct”

      
How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people does not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control. How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character! There is a different flow of spiritual wisdom from the higher worlds to animate those who dwell here below with growth in spirituality. This flow of spiritual vitality occurs on following the esoteric principals laid down in the 12 step program.

Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.

Tempest-tossed souls, wherever you may be, under whatsoever conditions you may live, know this in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep: wake Him and follow his command and will. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power. Say unto your heart, "Peace, be still!"
By letting the God in, the five senses are stilled and thinking has ceased, when the intellect does not stir, in between two thoughts than one can enjoy the tranquility of mind and reaches the highest state of spirituality, only by subjugating the lower instincts of lust, anger, attachment, pride, and greed, and by letting God in by development of Godly instincts of Truth, Contentment, Compassion, Faith and fortitude and develop that peace of mind or serenity.

That man, who in the midst of pain does not feel pain, who is not affected by pleasure, affection or fear, and who looks alike upon gold and dust? Who is not swayed by either slander or praise, nor affected by greed, attachment or pride; that remains unaffected by joy and sorrow, honor and dishonor? Who renounces all hopes and desires and remains desire less in the world; that is not touched by sexual desire or anger - within his heart, God dwells. That man, blessed by God’s Grace, understands this way. He merges with the Lord of the Universe, like water with water in serenity.

WORKING WITH OTHERS

"Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail." "Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail” (B.B. 89)

Remember they are very ill.

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends -- this is an experience you must not miss. Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time and judge him in trying to persuade him but be patient, realizing that you are dealing with a sick person. If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with his wife. Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. But don't deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval.

See your man alone, if possible. At first engage in general conversation. After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of himself. If he wishes to talk, let him do so. When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. Tell him how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick. Give him an account of the struggles you made to stop. And be careful not to judge him and brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusion. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do.

He may give reasons why he need not follow the entire program. He may rebel at the thought of a drastic housecleaning which requires discussion with other people. Do not contradict such views. Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action.

Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over. If he does stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he like. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so. This could be a mistake some times, if he has trouble later; he is likely to say you rushed him. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.

If he is not interested in your solution or if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurts some more.

If he is sincerely interested and wants to see you again, ask him to read the big book in the interval. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within.

If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. AA has no monopoly on God; it merely has an approach that worked with us. It should be pointed out that we alcoholics have much in common and that we would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that. Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.

Helping others is the foundation stone of our recovery (step 12). A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected.

Any one can get better provided he trusts in God and clean house but it should be pointed out that his defects of character are not going to disappear over night. Show him that he has entered upon a period of spiritual growth.

Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.

A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity.

WHAT DOES A.A.? DO?


1. A.A. members share their experience with anyone seeking help with a drinking problem; they give person-to-person service or "sponsorship" to the alcoholic coming to A.A. from any source.
2. The A.A. program, set forth in our Twelve Steps, offers the alcoholic a way to develop a satisfying life without alcohol.
3. This program is discussed at A.A. group meetings.
4. Open speaker meetings — open to alcoholics and nonalcoholic. 5. Open discussion meetings — any one6. Closed discussion meetings — conducted just as open discussions are, but for alcoholics or prospective AA’s only.7. Step meetings (usually closed) — discussion of one of the Twelve Steps.8. A.A. members also take meetings into correctional and treatment facilities.

WHAT DOES AA DO NOT DO?

1. Furnish initial motivation for alcoholics to recover.
2. Solicit members.
3. Engage in or sponsor research.
4. Keep attendance records or case histories.
5. Join “councils” of social agencies.
6. Follow up or try to control its members.
7. Make medical or psychological diagnoses or prognoses.
8. Provide drying-out or nursing services, hospitalization, drugs, or any medical or psychiatric treatment.
9. Offer religious services.
10. Engage in education about alcohol.
11. Provide housing, food, clothing, jobs, money, or any other welfare or social services.
12. Provide domestic or vocational counseling.
13. Accept any money for its services or any contributions from non-A.A. sources.
14. Provide letters of reference to parole boards, lawyers, court officials, social agencies, employers, etc.

UNSAFE AND SAFE DRUGS FOR RECOVERING ADDICTS

The following is a partial list of medications and preparations which are generally considered to be unsafe for those who are recovering from the disease of Chemical Dependence (alcoholics and drug addicts):

1. Any preparation which contains alcohol or ethanol. This includes most cough preparations. Mouthwashes, colognes, perfumes, and aftershaves. When in doubt. Always read the label. Beware of foods which are prepared with alcoholic beverages, such as wine or sherry, although the alcohol may be evaporated if added prior to cooking.

2. Benzodiazepines and other tranquilizers I - Valium, Librium, Librax, Limbitrol, Tranxene, Dalmane, Serax, Xanax, Klonopin, Restoril, Halcion, Ativan, Versed, Miltown. Equanil, Equagesic, Soma. And others.

3. Barbiturates and other sedatives ­Phenobarbital, Nembutal, Seconal. Fiorinal, Esgic, Donnatal, Doriden, Placidyl, Chloral Hydrate, Ambien, Sonata, Benadryl, and others.

4. Narcotics - Morphine, Demerol, Dilaudid, Dolophine (methadone), Percodan, Tylox., OxyContin, Duragesic (fentanyl), Synalgos­ DC, Codeine (Tylenol #3, etc.), Taiwin, Darvocet. Wygesic, Vicodin, Lortab, Lorcet, ­ Suboxone (buprenorphine). Nubian, Stadol, Ultram, and others.

5. Amphetamines and other stimulants Dexedrine, Fastin. Lonamin, Tenuate, Meridia, Ephedrine. Ritalin, Cylert. Adderall, Metadate ER. And others.

6. Decongestants or weight control preparations’ which contain ephedrine or Psuedoephedrine.

Many drugs which are prescribed to control psychiatric disorders should be used only with caution and very accurate diagnosis. The medications which fit this description are the major tranquilizers such as Thorazine, Mellanl, Haldol, Navane, and others; the atypical anti-psychotics such as Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify and others; and the antidepressants, such as Elavil, Triavil. Desyrel, Prozac. Zoloft. Paxil, Serzone and others. A few alcoholics and addicts must be maintained on such medications. But the decision to do so should be made jointly by the patient’s psychiatrist and addictionist.

The following are considered to be safe

Aspirin, Tylenol, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (Motrin, Nuprin, Advil, Naprosyn, Anaprox, and others), antibiotics, some cough syrups (Robitussin-DM, Delsym, Safe- Tussin), and some antihistamines (Allegra and Claritin).

If you are unsure about any drug or other preparation, show this list to your doctor or pharmacist and ask for his or her assistance. If you find that a medication, drug or preparation alters the recovering addict's mood or mind, don't use it.

TO LET GO THE PAST

It’s time to let go of the past, (But not to close the door on it) to release that which no longer serves our growth, and to rebuild upon a new foundation. 

We need not be guilty of creating a life of happiness.  There is no need to hurt those who have limited us in freeing ourselves. 

It is important to take inventory of our positives and negatives prior to ever making a decision to let go of the past.  I recommend getting out a notebook and writing these lists down.

Who and what are affecting us positively?  Who and what are affecting us negatively?    

One way to let go of the past is to remove or revise our expectations that created conflict.  

Surrender is an important aspect of life purpose.  When we try to control, we are not trusting in divine intervention within us.  People who are egomaniacs at work are often covering their insecurities, which are often embedded deeply in their personality from a past or present fear.  Perhaps the insecurity comes from childhood abuse (verbal abuse, teasing, sexual abuse/incest, neglect, and/or smothering parents). 

Another way to let go is to keep the expectation, and try to change the circumstance.  Once we've identified a situation that needs improvement, we can attempt to change either the relationship or the situation.  Ways to create change is through positive reinforcement and acceptance and by personal demonstration. No body will change if they are feeling being judged and should be treated as we want ourselves to be treated.  

 

 We may need to get angry to make a decision or set a boundary, but we can't afford to stay resentful. If we see ourselves as a victim, then we will not find compassion.  As soon as we remove the "victim" consciousness and take gentle, loving responsibility to love us first, compassion for others follows.

What are we sad or feel guilty about?  Unresolved sadness and/or guilt can block our love and joy.  In the past, we may have denied our right to feel pain, saying things like "it doesn't hurt that much, I'll think about that tomorrow, maybe if I just wait, it will change, or maybe if I try to change the other person, I won't have to change myself." It keeps repeating itself until we give it attention, learn from it, and heal.  

We may not have had the tools to heal ourselves in the past, but if we recognize a pattern that is limiting our growth, this may likely be caused from the deeper issue that caused us pain or sadness.  Recognizing this source is the first step to healing.

What are we angry about?  Anger, like sadness and guilt, is also a form of fear, and can be beneficial as well as destructive.  Anger is a warning signal, as anger is destructive when forgiveness is absent.  If anger has resolved into abusiveness or resentment it is a symptom of the deeper issue.  People who have "anger issues" are usually people who have a deeper insecurity that is being triggered by a behavior pattern that makes the angry person feel unloved or disrespected.  

It is important to let go of anger, so that these conflicts are resolved.  However, in order to let go of anger, we must look at what need within us is being challenged or, if we are demanding respect, perhaps we were disrespected at crucial moments in our past.  Is our need for respect really the concern of others?  Our anger is OUR emotion, and it is a root cause of the insecurity which, when addressed, resolves the emotion.

  

Being hurt as a child does not mean we must continue to be hurt as an adult. We can control our emotions, or control our circumstances which create our emotions, but other than that, we need to accept and just let it go.

Another approach to letting go is to change our feelings about the situation, environment, or relationship.

What are we resentful of?  If someone hurt us in a relationship, letting that resentment go enables our soul to free space to bring more love in our life in the future, either from this relationship or a new one.  

Change is probably the most important aspect of letting go, as often those who challenge us the most to change are our biggest life teachers.  Changing our own expectations, reactions, and definitions of history are often answers to letting go and free our spirit to fly again.

The last way to let go is to keep the expectation but change the situation, environment, or relationship.  This may also include ridding destructive behavior patterns.

Changing our job may be necessary when the job is damaging to our psyche and is causing us health problems.

Another change might be with a relationship.  If someone is constantly being verbally abused, called names, and befuddled with poor treatment, then it is damaging to their esteem and health to stay in a relationship -- especially if physical abuse is involved. 

Sometimes, we need a change of scenery to create the life we want.  This may mean moving to a new apartment, house, or city/ town to reside in.

Meditation and prayer before undertaking any of these changes is recommended.

One of the most important ways to let go is rid us of self-criticism.  If you wonder how much you criticize yourself, keep a journal or notepad for one week.  

One way to correct self-criticism is to write a counter positive thought to each of the negatives we write down in the journal a list of what we CAN DO and what we ARE GOOD ENOUGH for.  Which list would you rather feed yourself?    

As we think, so shall we be.  If we think we don't deserve abundance, then we won't get it.  If we think selling all of our possessions is the answer to financial crisis, then we may end up with more financial crisis, rather than digging out of the hole.

Often, people who are self-critical DO pray for help and ask for a sign that something will go better. It takes open eyes, ears, and minds to see what is going on and be accepting, rather than rejecting, the opportunity to let go of negative past patterns and embrace positive change.

Rather than take suggestions as criticizing, is it possible that this group of people is challenging you to try to help you out of your despair? 

If you lack a role model or mentor, read about great people.  Find out what they did that made them successful. 

 Are your friends and co-workers also self-critical and deprecating?  If so, they are reinforcing your negative thought pattern and creating a negative bonding pattern. Which is actually destructive to you, rather than supportive as they might seem to be. It is common for people with low self-esteem to choose others with low self-esteem. Sometimes, we need to change all of our friendships, our work; even what town we live in to break free of this most damaging thought pattern.  

If you could choose abundance, joy, love, and fun, isn't that better than choosing drudgery, suffering, resentment, and pain?

It all begins inside of us.  By changing what we BELIEVE we deserve, letting go of our negative self-criticism, and embracing loving thoughts and behavior, we can create the life of abundance, and love that we seek.

1. "Don't let the past steal your present" - Cherralea Morgen
2. "One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one's reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present." - S.N. Goenka
3. "It doesn't matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go." ~ Bob Proctor
4. "We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future." - Robin Sharma
5. "The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek." ~ Celestine Chua
6. "Be present-it is the only moment that matters." ~ Peaceful Warrior
7. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." - B. Olatunji
8. "Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies." ~ Ann Landers
9. "Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever." - Deepak Chopra
10. "Don't put off living to next week, next month, next year or next
decade. The only time you're ever living is in this moment." - Celestine Chua
11. "There's no next time-It's now or never." - Celestine Chua
12. "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today." - Dale Carnegie
13. "Never let your memories be greater than your dreams." - Doug Ivester
14. "Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions." ~Albert Einstein
15. "To create more positive results in your life, replace 'if only' with 'next time'." ~ Celestine Chua
16. "We think about all of our tomorrows, but we don't know how many they are, so let's start making the most of our Todays!" ~ Ivana Trump
17. "The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past, he is a parent of the future." ~ Herbert Spencer
18. "What you are is what you have been. What you'll be is what you do now." - Buddha
19. "Everyone faces challenges in life. It's a matter of how you learn to overcome them and use them to your advantage." - Celestine Chua

TO LET GO THE EGO

A high percentage of the interference in our higher self-purposes is caused by ego, which being the lower self is veiling over the Universal Higher self or Higher Power/God. So, we must "let go of our ego" if we are to understand who we really are.

It could be the conscious and unconscious "personality" who we often consider ourselves to be -- the set of experiences, expectations, and little voices in our head that we hear that often put down our ideas or challenge us to be who we aspire to be.

The ego is also that force which causes us to care about being better than everyone else. This is our competitive nature. This can be a healthy driving force; however, it may also cause problems. In general, competition destroys creation and invites doubt when we fail.

Ego may be responsible as the cause of the following:

1. Overly competitive nature, wanting to destroy or judge others.
2. Putting ourselves first, rather than others.
3. Taking, rather than giving and serving.
4. Self-puffery, believing we're greater than we are.
5. Self-doubt, believing we're less than we are.
6. Living by circumstance, rather than faith.
7. Losing the attitude of gratitude - expecting everyone to give us everything.
8. Belief in negativity - creating fear, uncertainty, and doubt’

This gives some keen insights into the process of liberation-how we can free ourselves, and how by not realizing that we can get stuck endlessly in stories of suffering. "You may receive endless teachings on compassion and good heart, but how can they touch you when underneath you are as tough as a block of wood?"
“Sobriety cannot be obtained without contemplation, deliberation and reflection on the massage.”
We don't know how to take inspiration and realization with us into our everyday lives. We may follow the teachings and understand on an intellectual level, but we don't really integrate them into our being. Instead, we compromise and let EGO have its way.
“Faith With out works is dead”
When ego is in control, your life becomes a mess, because 'you' are not you. Our real self, our true nature, is to work for the benefit of all sentient beings. We work for our own interest, which limits us, makes us small-minded and territorial.

What pride should we take in this body and wealth? We waste so much time, trying to be what we are not, asking too many questions, and thinking things, which take us away from our true selves. The whole point is to become yourself-your real self, without all sorts of complicated thoughts, concepts and ideas. You let go of the tight thing in you, the self-grasping, and reconnect with your true, sky-like nature. Then you can completely transcend all your limitations.

When you let go, it is wonderful. You experience the bliss of being free. Then you see how much fun it is-and how much healthier it is-not to have an ego. The more you are able to embody what you realize, to bring that into your everyday life and make it part of you, the freer you are. Then you can love everybody, and work fearlessly for the benefit of all beings, because you are beyond hope and fear.

"We need to balance the need to do (ego) with the need to be (Spirit). In the balance, soul exists. The key to living is to have both Spirit and our human nature equally present in our consciousness. When selfishness and conceit are erased, peace comes, and the mind and body are healed.

Being able to see the light and truth of the conscious and sub-conscious enables you to free your ego to live a balanced life. Letting go of your ego takes conscious effort and it never ends. Your ego is very powerful and can send you on a wild goose chase at the most inopportune times. When the need for flexibility presents itself, the last thing you want blocking you is your ego. Your heart tells you one thing, the ego insists on the opposite. There you are left standing at the crossroad not knowing which path to take.

So what now? Do you go with what your heart is telling you or do you listen to your ego telling you exactly what it thinks are best for you? This can be a moment when you do not want to be held back; do you throw caution to the wind and do what your heart tells you? The ego is the number one roadblock along the life path. How do you control the ego and leave yourself intact?

The ego is relentless! The ego you were born with takes on many new roles as you approach adulthood. Egos are very opinionated aspects of the personality. Everyone has one! Realizing this is the first step in knowing that you can take what you want and leave the rest. You can do the same with other people's egos or opinions. However, the ego does not give up easily. It cannot relate to love or its existence. Ego based living is living out the opinions of your ego without so much as caring what or how it impacts your life or the lives of others. It is letting the ego create imbalance by controlling you. Egos invade others space and as a result set you up for a lot of heartache. The key is to get ego to relate to the spirit. Is this easy? NO, for the ego never likes being out of control.
There are great aspects to the ego; it has its good points, it is God-given at birth. The ego that you were blessed with was to guide you along your path on earth. It was God's way of letting you know that you are not expected to do life all alone. The ego given was a great re-enforcer of self. It provided you with all the tools necessary to grow and balance life while learning to walk. It enhanced yourself-esteem. Where in the world along this path did it take on different personalities and become so over powering?

As you grew so did your ego. Each day the ego grew stronger and picked up one more traits on how to control you. It grew enormously and unless you knew then to remain in control of your ego instead of vice versa; it came to over power you as an adult. However, it's never too late to take your power back!

The ego takes on many forms.
1. The power ego. It loves nothing more than to ma1ce you one of power over others. Knowing this ego is controlling you have to apply the strength that power ego gives you in a way that you do not hurt others as a result.
2. The superior ego. It's really easy for it to convince you that you are superior to others and your skills are more important than that of your friends, family, and co-workers.
3. The defensive ego. This one keeps you so contained that it's hard for you to accept the guidance and lessons others offer.
4. The stubborn ego. It can keep the real you imprisoned. It backs up the defense ego perfectly by disallowing you to admit you are wrong and others are right. It blocks acknowledgement that prevents growth.
5. The meddling ego. This one takes on power to actually let you believe you know what is best for others. It tells you there isn't a need to ask if others need or want your opinion, it goes blasting in. These were just a few examples of egotism. There are many more forms of ego that make you blind to all of the love that life holds for you. The ego was given to serve you not control you. Take back the power you have unconsciously endowed to your ego. While the ego will always remain a strong part of who you are, it is time to let go of the ego to free yourself and begin living a life of conscious change and loving. You have to learn to give up all old ideas of how things should or should not be. "If you could be eliminated, you would have it all" Of course, it means "ego deflation in depth."

The continued practice of the message in AGGS has eliminated the old clawing, clinging, scrapping, unloving and unlovable ME, and given me a loving I AM. As time progresses we find we learn best by teaching. This is the basis of the truism that "When the student is ready, the teacher appears, when the teacher is ready, the student appears." We are all learners and we are all teachers. I was constantly defending my ego-image of SELF. It wasn't until some time, I started practicing the guidance to the best of my ability that I began to realize that my ego defense walls came down, life got a lot better. From this it came that the best defense in all situations was defenselessness. In this context, it always stands for losing only the unfruitful part of the self, our defects of character. It leaves intact all those vital functions that help us manage situations in real life. Consistent application of the teachings of 12 step program, and in particular the daily review of my life (Step 10), looks a marvelous agency of personal change. It contributes a distinctive, fourfold, creative encounter that shapes the process of change.
First it provides a setting of rigorous honesty that soon exposes how much we have been distorted by the I-Me-Mine complex.

Crying out, "Mine! Mine!” they have departed, but their bodies, their wealth, and their wives did not go with them. My and I has to be replaced with we.
Second, as review each day in meditation, our own insight then disclose how insubstantial and lacking in continuity these distortions really are.
Third, as we interact with other fellows, it provides ways to work off these dysfunctions in daily life practice.
And fourth, it provides a setting among us that is intrinsically so much more appealing than the life we had been leading, that the awakened spirit is more actualized, buoyant, and compassionate.
Where did the hitherto partisan self of the Me generation go? It seems like a return toward one's original state in the eternal scheme of things.
Why so few persons have ever become perfectly evolved, selfless beings? This involves a glacially slow process of unlearning and personal restructuring. In the beginning, it turns out, that first simply learning how to unlearn. Then the receptive process of relearning opens up. As it unfolds on its own, it seems to reconnect the person with what are now new and vital relationships. Yet, they are the ones that have always been there.

TO LET GO THE FEAR


If we live in our fears and let them rule us, it proves we have no faith in God. When we let go of our fears, we put our faith in God to make a way for us where there seems to be no way. God does not promise the transition will be smooth, or easy. Fear saps our energy and distorts our perception of reality. Fear makes us vulnerable. Fear is never our friend. Fear causes pain and torment. When "perfect love of God casts out fear," freedom and release are overwhelming. It's not bad to fear, but it's a shame to live in fear. God has given us a tremendous solution. If we rely upon Him, we have freedom from fear.

There are only two kinds of events in our lives, those we can do something about and those we cannot. If we can do something, then do it. Otherwise it is a waste of a good moment to worry about it and if you are afraid you cannot live the life to its fullest.
The experience of love of God is an inner state. When this is present, you are happy, alive and free. You feel good about yourself and good about life. As you bring the experience of love of God into your life, life works effortlessly and great things happen. The opposite of love is fear and upset. When this is present, you close down inside. You lose your creativity and your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that almost always makes your situation worse.
Whether you live in a state of love or a state of upset depends, not on your circumstances, but on how you relate to your circumstances by a negative or positive attitude. To live in the experience of love, and to create a life that works, you need to stop the fighting and resisting. You do this through a process called "letting go."
Letting go is the inner action that releases the fear and upset. The moment you let go, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you see your situation very differently. You become creative and discover solutions that you could never have seen before. To let go, you need to do the opposite of fighting and resisting. You need to let go of your demands and expectations for how life should be and make peace with the way life is.
Write your fears out in a journal. By writing these thoughts down these are no longer a part of you. After writing out your fears then answer several questions:

>What can I learn from this fear?
>What can I change?
>What can I surrender?
>What are five blessings in my life?
By answering these questions you have shifted your perspective from one of fear to one of insight and gratitude. This strategy is very powerful in releasing fear.
Pray
Prayer is a wonderful way to shift your intention and connect to your source of peace and "When you know who walks beside you every step of the way you will no longer need to fear." When you are experiencing a fearful thought, simply acknowledge that thought and shift it to a prayer. One very powerful prayer from the 12 Step Program is the Serenity Prayer.
Meditate
Meditation is the ability to quiet down the mind, body and spirit. A simple way to begin is to find a quiet spot where you won't be disturbed. Lie down or sit in a chair. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose and feel the breath travel down into your belly. Hold the breath for several seconds and exhale through your mouth. Repeat this 3 times. Then begin counting backwards from 10 to 1. After you are in this relaxed state, imagine yourself blowing up a balloon, placing all of your fears in the balloon, and then releases your fear-filled balloon to the universe. Once you have released your fear, visualize the highest outcome for any situation you are fearful of.
Spend time in nature
Nature has a wonderfully calming effect on the body, mind, and spirit. Take time when you are fearful to visit the beach, a forest, or the mountains.
Listen to beautiful music
Listen to whatever music soothes your soul. This could be New Age, Classical, Jazz, or Nature Sounds.
Read uplifting inspiring books
When you are experiencing fearful thoughts find inspiration in books of poetry, spirituality, personal growth and motivation.
Seek out positive people
If your friends are as fearful as you are they probably are not the people you should be associating with right now. Houses of worship, bookstores, and community centers often have social groups with uplifting members.
If you are still experiencing fear after implementing these strategies seek professional help
Spiritual counselors, life coaches, and behavioral psychologists are professionals that can empower you with tools to help you let go of your fear.
Savor every moment in your life
Perhaps this is the most important element in eliminating fear. None of us know what our fate is but what we do know are the gifts that are present in our lives at this moment. Every day make time to hug your children, cuddle with your partner, tell the people in your life that you love them, watch a sunset, listen to the birds singing, and give thanks for every breath that you take.
Although we are living in evolving times, the power of our thoughts, intentions, and actions can greatly affect the outcome of our lives. By implementing some of these strategies you can learn to let go of fear and begin to live your life fully again.

THE COMPLETE LIST OF AA SAYINGS

With thanks to several contributors

In no particular order:

• Keep coming back, it works if you work it.
. Sobriety takes priority.
. There life long recovery.
. There is no cure from the disease.
• Sit down, shut up and listen.
• If you think the program is too simple, go out and drink some more. By the time you get back you'll be simple enough for the program.
• First things first
• Keep it simple, stupid (K.I.S.S.)
• What step are you on.
• Does anyone have a burning desire.
• We got a chair here with your name on it.
• It's always easier to take somebody else's inventory.
• I'm really grateful to be here.
• I thank my HP for my sobriety.
• I don't know where I'd be without my sponsor.
• Get a sponsor.
• Don't drink and go to meetings.
• My ass was on fire.
• If drinking doesn't bring you to your knees, sobriety will.
• When you sober up a horse thief, all you have is a sober horse thief
• Easy does it
• One day at a time
• If you fly with crows, you get shot at
• GOD: Good, Orderly Direction
• HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
• I got sick of being sick and tired
• It's easy to talk the talk, but you have to walk the walk
• Gratitude is an attitude
• You have to give it away in order to keep it
• Fake it till you make it
• It's a selfish program
• Stick with the winners
• Keep coming back
• Just for today
• I've been here a few 24 hours
• HIT: Hang In There
• Under every dress there's a slip
• FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real
• Let go and let God
• FEAR : Face Everything And Recover!
• EGO: Edging God Out!
• We came, we came to, we came to believe
• Daniel didn't go back to the lion's den to get his hat
• If you stick with the bunch, you'll get peeled
• It gets better
• The doors swing both ways
• It's the engine that kills you, not the caboose
• You have to put in the time
• Put the plug in the jug
• We suffer from alcohol-ISM, not alcohol-WASM
• Try it for 90 days, and if you don't like it, we'll gladly refund your misery
• Don't drink, and go to meetings
• Some people drink normally, and I normally drink
• I'm glad to be here, and glad to be sober
• The person with the most sobriety is the one who got up earliest this morning
• A slip is a premeditated drunk
• Keep your cock (or cash, or car) out of AA
• AA is the easier, softer way
• Go to meetings when you want to, and go to meetings when don't want to
• It's been a good meeting so far
• I've heard a lot of good things said at this meeting
• My worst day sober was better than my best day drunk
• None of us got here form drinking too much coffee
• We have a disease that tells us we don't have a disease
• We have a living problem, not a drinking problem
• We have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem
• Thank you for my sobriety
• There are no elevators in AA, only steps
• If you don't want to slip, stay away from slippery places
• The mind is like a parachute, it works better when it's open
• Alcoholics are more sensitive than average
• Alcoholics work harder than average
• Alcoholics are more intelligent that average
• There's no gain without pain
• Thank you for sharing my pain
• Pain is the touchstone of progress
• My daily sobriety is contingent on my spiritual condition
• Yesterday is a cancelled cheque, tomorrow is a promissory note, only today is cash in the bank.