TO LET GO THE PAST

It’s time to let go of the past, (But not to close the door on it) to release that which no longer serves our growth, and to rebuild upon a new foundation. 

We need not be guilty of creating a life of happiness.  There is no need to hurt those who have limited us in freeing ourselves. 

It is important to take inventory of our positives and negatives prior to ever making a decision to let go of the past.  I recommend getting out a notebook and writing these lists down.

Who and what are affecting us positively?  Who and what are affecting us negatively?    

One way to let go of the past is to remove or revise our expectations that created conflict.  

Surrender is an important aspect of life purpose.  When we try to control, we are not trusting in divine intervention within us.  People who are egomaniacs at work are often covering their insecurities, which are often embedded deeply in their personality from a past or present fear.  Perhaps the insecurity comes from childhood abuse (verbal abuse, teasing, sexual abuse/incest, neglect, and/or smothering parents). 

Another way to let go is to keep the expectation, and try to change the circumstance.  Once we've identified a situation that needs improvement, we can attempt to change either the relationship or the situation.  Ways to create change is through positive reinforcement and acceptance and by personal demonstration. No body will change if they are feeling being judged and should be treated as we want ourselves to be treated.  

 

 We may need to get angry to make a decision or set a boundary, but we can't afford to stay resentful. If we see ourselves as a victim, then we will not find compassion.  As soon as we remove the "victim" consciousness and take gentle, loving responsibility to love us first, compassion for others follows.

What are we sad or feel guilty about?  Unresolved sadness and/or guilt can block our love and joy.  In the past, we may have denied our right to feel pain, saying things like "it doesn't hurt that much, I'll think about that tomorrow, maybe if I just wait, it will change, or maybe if I try to change the other person, I won't have to change myself." It keeps repeating itself until we give it attention, learn from it, and heal.  

We may not have had the tools to heal ourselves in the past, but if we recognize a pattern that is limiting our growth, this may likely be caused from the deeper issue that caused us pain or sadness.  Recognizing this source is the first step to healing.

What are we angry about?  Anger, like sadness and guilt, is also a form of fear, and can be beneficial as well as destructive.  Anger is a warning signal, as anger is destructive when forgiveness is absent.  If anger has resolved into abusiveness or resentment it is a symptom of the deeper issue.  People who have "anger issues" are usually people who have a deeper insecurity that is being triggered by a behavior pattern that makes the angry person feel unloved or disrespected.  

It is important to let go of anger, so that these conflicts are resolved.  However, in order to let go of anger, we must look at what need within us is being challenged or, if we are demanding respect, perhaps we were disrespected at crucial moments in our past.  Is our need for respect really the concern of others?  Our anger is OUR emotion, and it is a root cause of the insecurity which, when addressed, resolves the emotion.

  

Being hurt as a child does not mean we must continue to be hurt as an adult. We can control our emotions, or control our circumstances which create our emotions, but other than that, we need to accept and just let it go.

Another approach to letting go is to change our feelings about the situation, environment, or relationship.

What are we resentful of?  If someone hurt us in a relationship, letting that resentment go enables our soul to free space to bring more love in our life in the future, either from this relationship or a new one.  

Change is probably the most important aspect of letting go, as often those who challenge us the most to change are our biggest life teachers.  Changing our own expectations, reactions, and definitions of history are often answers to letting go and free our spirit to fly again.

The last way to let go is to keep the expectation but change the situation, environment, or relationship.  This may also include ridding destructive behavior patterns.

Changing our job may be necessary when the job is damaging to our psyche and is causing us health problems.

Another change might be with a relationship.  If someone is constantly being verbally abused, called names, and befuddled with poor treatment, then it is damaging to their esteem and health to stay in a relationship -- especially if physical abuse is involved. 

Sometimes, we need a change of scenery to create the life we want.  This may mean moving to a new apartment, house, or city/ town to reside in.

Meditation and prayer before undertaking any of these changes is recommended.

One of the most important ways to let go is rid us of self-criticism.  If you wonder how much you criticize yourself, keep a journal or notepad for one week.  

One way to correct self-criticism is to write a counter positive thought to each of the negatives we write down in the journal a list of what we CAN DO and what we ARE GOOD ENOUGH for.  Which list would you rather feed yourself?    

As we think, so shall we be.  If we think we don't deserve abundance, then we won't get it.  If we think selling all of our possessions is the answer to financial crisis, then we may end up with more financial crisis, rather than digging out of the hole.

Often, people who are self-critical DO pray for help and ask for a sign that something will go better. It takes open eyes, ears, and minds to see what is going on and be accepting, rather than rejecting, the opportunity to let go of negative past patterns and embrace positive change.

Rather than take suggestions as criticizing, is it possible that this group of people is challenging you to try to help you out of your despair? 

If you lack a role model or mentor, read about great people.  Find out what they did that made them successful. 

 Are your friends and co-workers also self-critical and deprecating?  If so, they are reinforcing your negative thought pattern and creating a negative bonding pattern. Which is actually destructive to you, rather than supportive as they might seem to be. It is common for people with low self-esteem to choose others with low self-esteem. Sometimes, we need to change all of our friendships, our work; even what town we live in to break free of this most damaging thought pattern.  

If you could choose abundance, joy, love, and fun, isn't that better than choosing drudgery, suffering, resentment, and pain?

It all begins inside of us.  By changing what we BELIEVE we deserve, letting go of our negative self-criticism, and embracing loving thoughts and behavior, we can create the life of abundance, and love that we seek.

1. "Don't let the past steal your present" - Cherralea Morgen
2. "One has to live in the present. Whatever is past is gone beyond recall; whatever is future remains beyond one's reach, until it becomes present. Remembering the past and giving thought to the future are important, but only to the extent that they help one deal with the present." - S.N. Goenka
3. "It doesn't matter where you are, you are nowhere compared to where you can go." ~ Bob Proctor
4. "We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future." - Robin Sharma
5. "The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek." ~ Celestine Chua
6. "Be present-it is the only moment that matters." ~ Peaceful Warrior
7. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present." - B. Olatunji
8. "Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies." ~ Ann Landers
9. "Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go & it will be yours forever." - Deepak Chopra
10. "Don't put off living to next week, next month, next year or next
decade. The only time you're ever living is in this moment." - Celestine Chua
11. "There's no next time-It's now or never." - Celestine Chua
12. "One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon-instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today." - Dale Carnegie
13. "Never let your memories be greater than your dreams." - Doug Ivester
14. "Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions." ~Albert Einstein
15. "To create more positive results in your life, replace 'if only' with 'next time'." ~ Celestine Chua
16. "We think about all of our tomorrows, but we don't know how many they are, so let's start making the most of our Todays!" ~ Ivana Trump
17. "The wise man must remember that while he is a descendant of the past, he is a parent of the future." ~ Herbert Spencer
18. "What you are is what you have been. What you'll be is what you do now." - Buddha
19. "Everyone faces challenges in life. It's a matter of how you learn to overcome them and use them to your advantage." - Celestine Chua