WHY ALCOHOLICS CAN’T DRINK NORMALLY AGAIN

Alcoholics usually start drinking because they think they don’t have a drinking problem. They think they can handle couple drinks and be OK. But deep down they know they can’t drink again. But persistent, irrational thoughts compel old patterns of use and are often more dangerous. Where does this stinking thinking come from? And what can be done about it?  Alcoholics are programmed to think they can drink and go back to their old ways. The brain is a positive-reinforcing organ and tends to remember the good times associated with drinking, even glorifying alcohol, without weighing the real-life consequences of drinking like loss of friends, family, relationships, or even work.  Stinking thinking means that an alcoholic can come up with a countless number of positive reasons to drink and be ok. But they are not focusing on their recovery in a proactive manor. Anyone who wants to remain clean and sober needs to remember frequently, as to WHY they stopped in the first place. If you need motivation to stop drinking, be sure to account for both the good and bad in your past drinking.

How to stop thinking about drinking again? One has to change certain mental behaviors triggers, in order to manage and reduce cravings to drink. As long as you are exploring options to CHANGE your thinking, you are headed out of alcoholism. Should you try to drink again normally, a returned tolerance for alcohol starts at the stage one left drinking? In other words, it’s a DEAD END.

First stage of alcoholism is of adaptation, the person begins to rely on alcohol for alleviating stress or forgetting about their problems. They use alcohol as a means of escape from the everyday struggles of life. One starts thinking about when their next drink will be or starts planning on when they can go drinking. They may start to neglect close friends or relationships in favor of drinking. During this early beginning stage it is easier for a person to stop drinking than in later stages. The early signs of alcohol dependency are typically in denial and their drinking could quickly become out of control. This early stage can last anywhere from a few months to a year.

Second Stage of alcoholism is of tolerance, dependence, and craving. The person has an increased need to drink every day, as soon as they wake up in the morning or at lunch time. At this point the person has lost much control over how much and when they drink. They may have the intention to only have a beer or two, but end up drinking more in one sitting. Denial is very prominent in this stage. Family members may express concern, but the alcoholic does not think anything is wrong and that one could quit drinking anytime but don’t want to do. Other problems may begin like DUI’s, money, at work, and relationships. This middle step can last several months or several years before progressing to the final phase.

Final Stage of Alcoholism: The person is consumed by alcohol with malnutrition. Their entire day and thoughts revolve around when they will drink. They will feel sick when they do not drink, as withdrawal symptoms begin to become severe. They may experience shaky hands, headaches, and stomach problems. They cannot make it one day without a drink before feeling violently ill. After years of prolonged excessive drinking, the alcoholic in this stage may also begin experiencing related health problems – kidney and liver disease, heart disease, stomach problems, and others. They develop strong mood swings and erratic behavior posing a risk to their own safety and of others. If the alcoholic continues at this pace, it will be fatal if treatment is not sought.  Alcohol affects the brain in different ways.                                                                                                                                                                                           A. Cerebral cortex:  It slows down the processing of information from the eyes, ears, mouth and other senses inhibiting the thought processes.                                                                                                                                                                          B. Cerebellum: It affects the center of movement and balance, resulting in the staggering, so-called "falling-down drunk."                                                                                                                                                                             C. Pituitary & Hypothalamus: It depresses these centers that control sexual arousal and performance, thus increasing the sexual urge, and decreasing the sexual performance.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              D. Medulla: It induces sleepiness by acting on it and can slow breathing and lower body temperature, which can be life threatening, & can cause blackouts.

Conclusion: The problem is the progressive nature of the disease. When the drinking "song" starts playing in the mind of an alcoholic, he is powerless. In its early stages, taking one or two drinks may be all it takes to get the "song" to stop. But soon it takes six or seven and later may be ten or twelve to stop the song.  Somewhere down the road the only time the song stops is when one passes out. The progression of the disease is so subtle and takes place over an extended period of time, that even the alcoholic himself failed to notice the point at which he lost control -- and alcohol took over -- his life.                                     

Spiritual message- In words we are good, but in acts we are bad. We are impure minded and black-hearted, yet we wear the white robes of innocence. Why do we practice meditation and prayer, when our mind is not pure?  Abide pure amid the impurities of the world and thus you shall find the way of AA faith by studying the BB and following 12 steps in daily affairs.

ALCOHOLISM, SYMPTOMS, CAUSES, EFFECTS AND HELP

Alcoholism is a disease that affects many people in the world. This includes India (Punjab) and where ever one lives today. It not only affects the alcoholic, but also their family, friends, co-workers, and eventually total strangers.

Alcoholism is defined as a pattern of drinking in which harmful consequences result for the drinker, yet, they continue to drink. There are two types of drinkers. The first type, the casual or social drinker, for pleasure and only on occasion. The other type, the compulsive drinker, drinks because of an obsession, despite the adverse effects that drinking has on their lives.

The symptoms of alcoholism are changes in emotional state or stability, behavior, and personality. "Alcoholics may become angry and argumentative, or quiet and withdrawn or depressed. They may also feel more anxious, sad, tense, and confused. They then seek relief by drinking more". "Because time and amount of drinking are uncontrollable, the alcoholics are likely to engage in such behaviors as: -

1. Breaking family commitments, both major and minor.
2. Spending more money than planned.
3. Drinking while intoxicated and getting involved with the law.
4. Making inappropriate remarks to friends, family, and co-workers.
5. Arguing, fighting and other anti-social actions.

"The alcoholic would probably neither do such things, nor approve of them in others unless he was drinking."
The cause of alcoholism is a combination of biological, psychological, and cultural factors that may contribute to the development of alcoholism in an individual. Alcoholism seems to run in families, studies show that 50 to 80 percent of all alcoholics have had a close alcoholic relative. Some researchers have suggested that alcoholics have an inherited, predisposition to alcohol addiction. Additionally, alcoholics often drink hoping to "drown' anxious or depressed feelings. Some alcoholics drink to reduce strong inhibitions or guilt about expressing negative feelings. Social and cultural factors play roles in to establishing drinking patterns and the development of alcoholism.

The prolonged use of large amounts of alcoholism without adequate diet may cause serious liver damage, such as cirrhosis of the liver, loss of muscular control, delirium tremens causing hallucinations. Withdrawal may cause agitation, tremors and seizures. Alcoholics may suffer lack of concentration "blackouts," memory lapses, complete memory loss & brain damage. Having a problem- drinker parent often increases the risk of becoming a problem drinker oneself and leads to family conflict, job insecurity, divorce, and social stigma.

Alcohol abuse in the United States cost society from $40 to $60 billion annually, due to the lost production, health and medical care, motor vehicle accidents and violent crimes. One half of all traffic fatalities and injuries are related to the abuse of alcohol. Accidents and suicides that are associated with alcohol problems are especially prominent in the teen years. It is estimated that over 3 million teens between the ages of 14 and 17 in the United States today are problem drinkers. Education and realization of the effects alcoholism can have on the different aspects of a person's life are the best ways that we can help control the number of alcoholics in the United States.

ALCOHOLISM & FAMILY

Although alcoholism is an incredibly tenacious disease, the non-drinking members of an alcoholic family are not helpless to do anything about it.

Alcoholism affects all members of the alcoholic family in hurtful ways.
An alcoholic family is a troubled, pain-ridden family with constricted communication and suppressed emotional expression, but they have all learned to deny that pain and not to express their feelings.

If the family members are to recover from the effects of alcoholism and paradoxically provide the best chance to help the alcoholic quit drinking, all of this must be reversed.
They must learn about the disease nature of alcoholism and its effects on them. They must acknowledge the pain they have suppressed for years and begin to express it.

Instead of focusing their attention on his drinking, they must shift it away from him and refocus it on themselves. They must refuse to take any more responsibility for the alcoholic's behavior and no longer attempt to make him stop drinking or protect him from the painful consequences of his drinking:

1. No more pleading or nagging.
2. No more lectures or futile threats, which aren't backed up with inevitable consequences.
3. No more making excuses for the alcoholic's drinking. No more calling in sick for her when she is hung over.
4. No more keeping dinner warm or cleaning up vomit.

All of this may sound selfish for the family members to do - and perhaps it is - but paradoxically it creates the best chance they have to bring the alcoholic to sobriety. Without a co-dependent family enabling his drinking, he may decide to seek treatment. There are no guarantees this will happen, but certainly what the family members have been doing for years hasn't worked.

ENABLERS & HELP

If the continued use of alcohol/drugs has a destructive effect on an individual's family or interpersonal relationships, job performance, health or financial condition, there is good reason to suspect dependency. Any of these areas affected by alcohol/drug use is good enough reason for concern.

When dependency is suspected, every effort must be made to refer the individual to a qualified addiction counselor, where a complete and in-depth diagnostic evaluation can be conducted and critical clinical treatment services prescribed if deemed clinically necessary.

This is easier said than done, give the denial system mentioned previously. It is our suggestion that non-alcoholic concerned parties secure some reading material; see a counselor for advice; join Al-Anon, which is an educational, self-help organization for concerned relatives and friends of alcoholics; and learn as much about the illness as possible.

Intervention into alcoholism is a painful process for everyone involved and must be done with clear understanding that it is necessary, even crucial, if the individual is to survive and that half-measures will simply not suffice.

A crisis is often necessary in order to force the individual to accept the seriousness of his/her situation and accept help. Usually the individual will create his/her own crisis, and it only remains for the concerned person to let the alcoholic be responsible for his/her own behavior and therefore have a greater chance of recognizing the consequences of his/her continued use.
All too often, those well-meaning people around him/her have supported the alcoholic in his/her addiction. In fact, the well-meaning people actually help to continue the addictive pattern because they feel duty bound (or guilt ridden) to constantly pick up the pieces for the person using alcohol/drugs. Because they enable the addiction by preventing the alcoholic from facing the consequences of his/her behavior, they are called "enablers".

The enabler operates from many points of view. Often the alcoholic has succeeded in convincing the people around him/her that they are responsible for his/her alcoholism. "With a wife like you, who wouldn't drink" or "With my job pressures, anyone would drink/use drugs like I do". These are complete fabrications; no one is guilty of causing alcoholism since we don't know the single cause of it. These alibis only serve to pacify the conscience of the alcoholic and, at the same time, spread guilt among the people who support them. This guilt then strengthens the alcoholic's hold on his/her supporters.

Other "enablers" tend to operate from the premise that they control the drinking and in some way manage both the alcoholic and his/her problem. This doesn't work...alcoholics can stop drinking, but they cannot control their drinking. Total abstinence is the safest remedy we have at this stage of our knowledge.

Another type of enabler believes that alcoholism is only a symptom of some other underlying problem, and that if this causative factor can be dealt with, the alcoholism will disappear. This is simply not true and its fallacy has been demonstrated over and over again.

Alcoholism and Drug Addiction, whatever its cause is a "primary" illness and must be treated as such. The alcoholic or drug addict who uses chemicals will continue to do so destructively whether he/she has any problems or not. The point is that other problems cannot be successfully dealt with except in the absence of the chemical; and when sobriety is maintained, many of the problems disappear.

Unfortunately, this type of enabler is often times a professional such as a doctor, clergyman, social worker or marriage counselor. Fortunately, for the dependent people, these professionals are slowly coming to realize the error of their well-meaning endeavors and are gradually accepting dependency as a legitimate illness with a prescribed course of treatment.
One last word on the "enabler". An alcoholic or drug addict cannot die of their illness without the support of at least one other person described above. Although there is not guilt attached to dependency itself, it would seem that there is certainly a moral obligation on the part of the concerned persons to see that the afflicted person gets the help he/she so desperately needs.

In summary, intervention is a process of becoming detached from the problems created by the illness, not from the person, and letting the alcoholic take full responsibility for his/her behavior.
Stop lying for them, making excuses and protecting them from embarrassment. Be honest with them no matter how painful and tell it like it is, being neither judgmental nor critical of them as a person. It is not a moral illness though they have secretly begun to think it is, and you will only strengthen this assumption and make matters worse. Openly and honestly confront the person with the facts neither mitigating nor exaggerating anything. Point out the obvious conclusion and explain what help is available. Then tell the person what you are going to do and not what they are going to do. Lay out some alternatives that you are considering and give those options. Do not threaten any actions, which you are not fully intending to carry out. Remember that Compassion is the key to successful intervention.

The focus of your efforts is always to get this person to a trained professional counselor or to Alcoholics Anonymous. If you have a good relationship with a knowledgeable and understanding clergyman, doctor, or social worker, fill them in on your objectives and possibly they will serve as the instrument by which the alcoholic or drug addict can be induced to see a qualified counselor.

ADDICTION AND ITS SIGNS

The term. “Addiction” describes an obsession, compulsion or excessive psychological dependence on a variety of substances and behaviors. These include drugs, alcohol, and food, shopping, love, clutter, exercise, crime, money, gambling and tattooing. Recently, technology-related addictions have joined the mix: video games, texting, cell phones, e-mail, and eBay, Web surfing, online gambling, social networking, micro blogging etc.

Where do you draw the line between enjoying a substance or activity and having an addiction? It's not easy, particularly when you've been covering up the truth from yourself (and others) for years, but there are signs and clues that can help you determine whether you might be an addict.

September is Recovery month. It promotes the message that recovery from addiction, in all its forms, is possible. Asking yourself the right questions can be the beginning of your journey to recovery.

Here are twelve preliminary questions you might ask to determine whether you've crossed the line into addiction:

1. Am I drawn to a substance or activity that I feel like I no longer have a choice about taking or performing?
2. Do I need more and more of the substance or activity to get the same effect that it originally provided?
3. Is it difficult, or impossible, for me to stop?
4. When I don't have the substance or activity, do I experience withdrawal symptoms of some kind such as physical craving, anxiety, depression or irritability?
5. Am I compelled to hide or deny the amount of time that I spend on this substance or behavior?
6. Do I feel the need to keep this part of my life hidden from friends, family and co-workers?
7. Is my performance at work or in school, or my participation in personal relationships, suffering because of my use of the substance or my involvement in the activity?
8. Do I find myself spending too much time planning when, and how, I can next use the sub¬stance or engage in the activity?
9. Are there important people in my life who are concerned about my well-being because of the substance or activity, and do I want to reject their input and concern?
10. Are you restless, irritable, and discontented?
11. Did you have any problems with the law?
12. Do you think you can stop on a non-spiritual basis?

Your answers can help bring clarity to your situation. Your loved ones might offer support, but they can't put you on the road to healing. Only you can do that. Sometimes addicts know on a gut level that they're in trouble, but they're in denial. But the only way to get help is to ask for it, and the only way you can motivate yourself to ask for help is to acknowledge your addiction with willing acceptance.

SERENITY

CALMNESS of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought with spiritual progress.

A man becomes calm in the measure that he understands himself as a thought evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as he develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relations of things by the action of cause and effect he ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.

The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, and his power for good. The individual will find his prosperity increase as he develops a greater self-control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a man whose demeanor is strongly equable. The individual who considers every one equal is religious.

The strong, calm man is always loved and revered. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. "Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character, which we call serenity, is the calm man, having learned how.

It is the last lesson on culture as flowering of life and the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold. How insignificant mere money seeking looks in comparison with a serene life--a life that dwells in the ocean of Truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the Eternal Calm!

“Truth is above all and above Truth is truthful conduct”-----Guru Nanak

How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people does not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control. How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character! There is a different flow of spiritual wisdom from the higher worlds to animate those who dwell here below with growth in spirituality. This flow of spiritual vitality occurs on following the esoteric principals laid down in the 12 step program of AA.

Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him. Tempest-tossed souls, wherever you may be, under whatsoever conditions you may live, know this in the ocean of life the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming. Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep: wake Him and follow his command and will. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power. Say unto your heart, "Peace, be still!"

By letting the God in, the five senses are stilled and thinking has ceased, when the intellect does not stir, in between two thoughts than one can enjoy the tranquility of mind and reaches the highest state of spirituality, only by subjugating the lower instincts of lust, anger, attachment, pride, and greed, and by letting God in by development of Godly instincts of Truth, Contentment, Compassion, Faith and fortitude and develop that peace of mind or serenity.

That man, who in the midst of pain does not feel pain, who is not affected by pleasure, affection or fear, and who looks alike upon gold and dust? Who is not swayed by either slander or praise, nor affected by greed, attachment or pride; that remains unaffected by joy and sorrow, honor and dishonor? Who renounces all hopes and desires and remains desire less in the world; that is not touched by sexual desire or anger - within his heart, God dwells. That man, blessed by God’s Grace, understands this way. He merges with the Lord of the Universe, like water with water in serenity.

SPIRITUALITY

AA is the only program based on spirituality. The other programs like Rational Recovery and Secular Organizations for recovery are non-spiritual, preaching of total abstinence. Instead of higher power they depend on will power.

Acts of compassion, selflessness, altruism, and the experience of inner peace are all the characteristics of spirituality. It is what we do with our desires, longings, and restlessness. It is the art of making life a sacred adventure. It is being of the spirit. It is a devotion to the metaphysical matters and activities, which renew lift up, comfort, heal, and inspire others and us with whom we interact. It is the development of True Divine being to the point that one’s spirit is developed to the Holy Spirit of God. The highest spiritual achievement ever made.

There is only One Creator, who created the world. He is the Cause of causes, the Generous Lord. He showers His Grace and Mercy upon us.

True spirituality is achieved by means of scientifically applying teachings that allow ego to vanish in the fire of Divine love. The purpose of developing our spirituality is to be free of spiritual ignorance, free of selfish or destructive behavioral patterns. The original intentions of religions were to promote and teach true spirituality among all but they turned themselves to become organized, institutionalized and controlling people. Development of true spirituality is free from any church or religion. God is the Holy Spirit and has no religion. There is only one religion of Dharma (right conduct/cosmic order or law); let everyone grasp this truth.

The spirit is one part of the triad forming reality. The others are mentality (being of the mind) and sensuality (being of senses and body). These three together create reality. To achieve harmony a delicate balance must be maintained with contentment in the unity with the universe. Spirit is the non-physical aspect of existence. Mind is a bridge between spirit and body. Spirituality was the domain of religion but lately science has developed with close alignment.

In recent years, “spirituality” has often carried connotations of the believer’s faith being more personal, less dogmatic, more open to new ideas and myriad influences, and more pluralistic than the faiths of established religions. Those speaking of “spirituality” rather than “religion” are apt to believe that there are many “spiritual paths” and that there is no objective truth about which is the best to follow. On the other hand there are many adherents of orthodox religions who consider spirituality to be an aspect of their religious experience, and they are more likely to contrast spirituality with secular “worldliness” than with the ritual expression of the religion. Others of a more new age disposition hold that spirituality is not a religion per se, but the active and vital connection to a force, power, or sense of the deep self. Some proponents of spirituality believe that the goal of “being spiritual” is to simultaneously improve one’s wisdom, and communion with God/universe, which necessitates the removal of illusion, of feeling and thinking at the sensory aspect of a person.
But if he eliminates his self-conceit and then performs service, he shall grow spiritually.
Other spiritual proponents point out that spirituality is a two-stroke process. The upward stroke relates to inner growth and the downward stroke relates towards manifesting improvements in the world/reality around us as a result of the inward change.

The rule of thumb when evaluating any spiritual approach is that six months of diligent, proper practice should manifest noticeable improvement in one’s life. If not, then the usual advice is to pick another approach that is more likely to assist you in achieving your specific goals.
The spirit or psyche is a multidimensional aspect of “consciousness” most commonly thought of as being composed of the “subconscious” and “super conscious”. Thus, to humans, the psyche is considered to be those portions of the self other than the ego. If the Lord grants His Grace, one acts according to the Teachings of the Word ego is erased.

However, traditional definition of the psyche is limited by our lack of experience in utilizing the psyche as an integral, involved segment of acknowledged experience. Laws of space and time do not bind the psyche, although it is capable of having experience within space-time dimensions. At its deeper levels, such as the subconscious level, the psyche expands out into a gracious communion of cooperative venture with all consciousness. Therefore, the individual who learns the art of communicating with the psyche enhances the ability to tap into universal knowledge that is both specifically life altering and of great import universally.

The universal psyche is comprised of all of the living, self-aware forms of consciousness in existence within all realms of experience. The individual psyche is the you, that recognize at this given time as you are focused in on the singular signal or frequency that represents your current life. The ego is a portion of the psyche, its physical face but the psyche is composition in its entirety encompasses literally unlimited realms of knowledge and creativity.

Spiritually pertinent wisdom and knowledge reside within the psyche, sitting in wait for the individual to stir into action and learn the language of the psyche.

By altering the patterned performance of the conscious mind, the ego is gradually introduced to unfamiliar neurological messages that reside within the psyche. The stance of the individual shifts in its relationship, to space and time. Perceptions heighten. Alternate flows of powerful and pertinent knowledge and creativity results, and the mind elevates to a new level of intellectual/intuitive functioning.

The sponsor, faith, Truth, and Higher Power are necessary for sobriety. With out teacher there is no spiritual/Divine knowledge. With out faith there is no meditation. With out Truth there is no credit and with out capital no balance. The best act is Philanthropy (desire to help mankind, step 12), with out which human birth is accursed. Alms gifts, penance and sacrifices are not equal to Philanthropy. The worst sin is selfishness.

He who accepts the will of God will benefit greatly. There is no greater penance than patience, no greater happiness than contentment, no greater evil than greed, no greater virtue than mercy, and no potent weapon than forgiveness.

God created egotism and arrogant pride, and placed greed within our beings. Keep me as it pleases Your Will; everyone acts as You cause them to act step (3). Some are forgiven, and some stand and serve You. If, in practicing Faith of 12 step program, one does not achieve any degree of spiritualization and one remains on the level of an animal with a will of its own, he has to let go his own will. The potentiality of this faith is infinite, but it requires great effort and vigilance.

Deferred gratification is the ability to control the immediate satisfying of one’s desires - to wait and work for greater rewards at a time in the future. This requires great strength of character. This is spirituality triumphing over materiality, the angel over the ape. If we get spirituality right, the rest will follow, for it is what animates the soul, illumines the mind and sensitizes the heart of the individual. It is coming closer to God / Personal relationship with God.

Development of Spiritual Progress

Prayer, Meditation, Remembrance of the Word of God, Contentment with the Will of God, Morality, Selflessness, Integrity, Honor, Dignity, Trustworthiness, Restraint, and Deferred gratification of desires lead to spiritual progress. As spiritual awakening begins, motivations inevitably shift from the egocentric toward the desire to serve others. This kind of service is seen as absolutely necessary if the awakening and development are to continue; spiritual growth requires a life of service.

SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE

Is awareness of the existence of God (Truth), all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening?
No, accepting the omnipresence of God (Truth) is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening.

If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit-by-bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions by using the tools of 12 step program.

One who believes in Truth with all his heart recognizes the Cause of causes as the Root of all and whose heart is filled with faith in Higher Power, the essence of spiritual wisdom is revealed to his mind.

The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening/awareness” means a change in personality manifesting in different forms over a period of time. Friends are aware of the change long before the individual realize himself as a profound alteration in reaction to life. Such a change could hardly been brought by him alone in years of self-discipline. Individuals tap an inner resource identified by their own conception of a Higher Power.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness," but others call it Good orderly Direction. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the indispensable essentials to understand spirituality. The principle of contempt prior to investigation can keep a person in everlasting ignorance from the 12 step program, which has so far never hurt any one and if it does not help we will give your misery back to you.

The mind has to be controlled. The more mastery you have over yourself, over the vagaries of your own mind, the better you are placed for enjoying even this normal world - even if you don't have any spiritual hankering. It is difficult to control the mind while perusing one’s desires all the time to enjoy the spiritual experience, which is the ultimate goal of the life. Many of our problems arise because of a sense of boredom, loneliness, monotony, pressure, and unfulfilled desires throwing off the mind of its balance, even if there is no major external situation. A change of attitude is necessary to get a grip over the mind to get better results.

In an objective situation you cannot expect that there will be no bad experiences in life. A man has to learn to possess inner calmness in reacting to circumstances without getting emotionally involved. Each individual is looking differently at the same situation depending on the stage of his spiritual progress. Most of us spend much of our energy in fretting and fuming. To make decisions we take days and days. When we work we have our worries, our anxieties. A calm, quiet man, once he decides something, can quietly do it without losing his mental poise and balance by meditation.
The spiritual attitude is, to find a meaning for every suffering. The moment you have found some explanation, that suffering becomes less and if the spiritual awareness is there, he is a well-rounded, practical, efficient, and spiritual man. The real spiritual experience is so profound that it wholly transforms the character of the individual.

God’s presence can only felt by an individual through an spiritual experience in a belief system that allows for the possibility that maybe there is an Unconditionally Loving Higher Power - a God-Force, Unfathomable metaphysical Energy, Great Spirit, whatever it is called - which is powerful enough to insure that everything is unfolding perfectly from a Cosmic Perspective in the mind of the individual. That everything happens for a reason - there are no accidents, no coincidences, and no mistakes and logic is necessary to understand all of this.

Spiritual emergence is the process of personal awakening into a level of perceiving and functioning with out ego. The process may at first include one of the following phenomena: acceptance of a personal prayer, occult phenomena, pre-cognition, clairvoyance, astral travel, mystical experience and perception of auras. At its peak, spiritual emergence is the experience of the ultimate unity of all things, a merging with the Divine which transcends verbal description. This leads to among the positive effects of this process with increased creativity, feelings of peace and an expanded sense of compassion and the wealth of the Serenity Prayer is easily and intuitively received.

Those speaking of “spirituality” rather than “religion” are apt to believe that there are many “spiritual paths” and that there is no objective truth about which is the best to follow. The goal of “being spiritual” is to simultaneously improve one’s wisdom, through God’s Will (Step 3) and communion with God/universe/energy/force, which necessitates the removal of illusion of feeling and thinking at the sensory aspect of a person.

Spirituality or its awareness is preparing your, body and mind, to receive God's inspiration and translating it in you’re thinking, speech, and in your actions leading to the formation of virtuous habits forming good character. Spirituality is a two-stroke process. The upward stroke relates to inner growth and the downward stroke relates towards manifesting improvements in the reality around us as a result of the inward change.

As spiritual awakening begins, motivations inevitably shift from the egocentric toward the desire to serve others. This kind of service is seen as absolutely necessary if the awakening and development are to continue. Spiritual growth requires a life of service of humanity (step 12). It only happens if the individual eliminates his self-conceit and then performs service.

Prayer, Meditation, Remembrance of the Higher Power, Contentment with the Will of God, Morality, Selflessness, Integrity, Honor, Dignity, Trustworthiness, Restraint, and Deferred gratification of desires lead to spiritual progress with the guidance and use of the tools prescribed in the Big Book. The secret is in "understanding the real meaning not literal translation" that is behind the words, between lines, and what is not written. These words, language and the symbols are merely "tools" for the linear mind's understanding. It is the action on these instructions, which makes the difference. Faith with out right action is dead. There is no greater penance than patience, no greater happiness than contentment, no greater evil than greed, no greater virtue than mercy, and no potent weapon than forgiveness. With out a sponsor/big book there is no “Spiritual Awareness.” With out faith there is no meditation. With out Truth there is no credit and with out capital no balance. The best act is desire to help mankind (step 12).

The spiritual experience is a personal ecstatic pleasure of the mind which cannot be shown or shared with others but does make an impact of God’s presence & Grace in the mind of the individual experiencing it. We are all experiencing an evolutionary process of Spiritual Awareness, which is unfolding perfectly according to divine plan, in alignment with precise mathematically, scientifically and musically attuned laws of energy interaction. We are spiritual beings and are having a human experience.

To have knowledge of the dynamism of that unmanifest Lord is a very deep experience, and to say something of that ineffable Lord is a Herculean task. Life is a process of growth that is spiritual as well as physical, from one stage to the next. A person practices truth and develops virtue, self-control, insight, and self-confidence, and finally the stage of maturity.

Signs of Spiritual Awareness:

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
2. Feelings of happiness and enjoying each moment with out any worry.
3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously.
8. A loss of interest in conflict, judgment, and interpreting others actions.
9. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

SPIRITUAL BANKRUPTSY IN ALOHOLICS

Most alcoholics are generally spiritually bankrupt. We are going to find out what had blocked us off from Spiritual progress. 12 step program is not theoretical but is an active program consisting of active participation in its principles by subjugating the lower instincts and developing the higher instincts. It is inner cleanliness with the evolvement of good moral character important for spiritual growth.

It is indeed a fact that we all are actually at different steps of spiritual growth, and we cannot compare one with the other. An individual is one of his kinds in this world.

First we have to make a fearless and searching moral inventory of our selves. We have to take the stock honestly. We have to search for flaws in the make up of our self, which caused our failure and manifests in various ways. Self-will is the root cause of our troubles, manifested by our resentments, our fears, our sex conduct and harm towards others. We try to judge others by pointing a finger; we should realize that 3 of our fingers are pointing towards ourselves. No one has the right to judge any one. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.

We humans have 3 basic instincts comprising self, the social instinct, the security instinct and the sex instincts. These are needed for the human race to survive but when used selfishly or incorrectly it brings harm to others. In being selfish and self-centered we attempt to fulfill these desires, we are in constant conflict with others e.g. interfering when some one is speaking or passing remarks or in a debate with out having any understanding of the issues involved or in discussion. We all should concern with our own inventories rather than some one’s else. Every one calls himself perfect none calls himself imperfect.

Each resentment boils down to” that the person is not acting the way I think he should”. This very self centered, what we resent in others are the things we struggle with Our Selves. We are merely seeing in others something we do not like our selves. The other person’s behavior is being a mirror for us so we can see OUR OWN defects & ask ourselves, where we have been selfish, self-seeking, frightened, dishonest or inconsiderate and whom did we hurt?

One should question himself regarding;

1. Did I unjustifiably arouse bitterness?
2. Was I at fault? What should I have done instead?
3. Though a situation had not been entirely our own fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved ENTIRELY.
4. Where were we to blame? The inventory was OURS, not the other man’s.
5. Have we begun to learn tolerance, patience and goodwill towards all men?

Now you have swallowed and digested big chunks of Truth about your self.

This kind of analysis is not about who you are but it is about finding out who you are not? It is about cleaning your house by throwing out the things you do not want and not rearranging the old stuff.

One should know that one can’t be helpful to all people, but ask God at least show me how to take kindly and tolerant view of each and every one. Thy will be done.

The motto of an individual should be “I might be a single person in this world, but I may be the world for the individual I help”.

The way you are is NOT the result of what has happened to you, it is the result of what you decide to keep inside you. Non-consideration of our character defects is every bit as self destructive as denial of them. Admission of them is what’s called for, which might lead towards spiritual growth ending spiritual bankruptcy.

SPIRITUAL AWAKENING OF THE MIND

Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit-by-bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever. --Bill W

The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening” show that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms of the "educational variety" because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. The individual finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life that such a change could hardly have been brought about by him alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members have tapped an unsuspected inner resource, which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience. Our more religious members call it "God-consciousness."

Any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial and no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the indispensable essentials of recovery.
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation." ----Herbert Spencer

The mind has to be controlled. The more mastery you have over yourself, over the vagaries of your own mind, the better you are placed for enjoying even this normal world - even if you don't have any spiritual hankering. If all the time you pursue your desires, to bring the mind to a quiet position is difficult. It is necessary, for gaining enjoyable experiences from the world, and also the later spiritual experience, which is the ultimate goal of this life. Many of our problems arise because of a sense of boredom, monotony, pressure, and unfulfilled desires. These are some of the basic causes why the mind is often thrown off its balance, even if there is no major external situation. A change of attitude is necessary to get a grip over the mind to get better results.

In an objective situation you cannot expect that there will be no bad experiences in life. A man has to learn is how not to react at all, to possess inner calmness. Deal with the situation without getting emotionally involved.

It is at this stage that each individual is looking differently at the same situation depending on the stage of his spiritual progress. Most of us spend much of our energy in fretting and fuming. To make decisions we take days and days. When we work we have our worries, our anxieties. A calm, quiet man, once he decides something, can quietly do it without losing his mental poise and balance. This can be achieved with meditation to develop calmness and serenity of the mind. It is the basic training for making the mind purer, along with sitting quietly and calmly daily, and trying to think that thought.

The spiritual attitude is, to find a meaning for every suffering. The moment you have found some explanation, that suffering becomes less and if the spiritual awareness is there, he is a well-rounded, practical, efficient, spiritual man. The real spiritual experience is so profound that it wholly transforms the character of the individual.

Life is a process of growth that is spiritual as well as physical, from one stage to the next.
A person practices truth and develops virtue, self-control, insight, and self-confidence, and finally the stage of maturity.

Signs of Spiritual Awakening:

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
2. Feelings of happiness and enjoying each moment with out any worry.
3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously.
8. A loss of interest in conflict, judgment, and interpreting others actions.
9. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

ALCOHOLISM & FAMILY

Although alcoholism is an incredibly tenacious disease, the non-drinking members of an alcoholic family are not helpless to do anything about it.

Alcoholism affects all members of the alcoholic family in hurtful ways.
An alcoholic family is a troubled, pain-ridden family with constricted communication and suppressed emotional expression, but they have all learned to deny that pain and not to express their feelings.

If the family members are to recover from the effects of alcoholism and paradoxically provide the best chance to help the alcoholic quit drinking, all of this must be reversed.
They must learn about the disease nature of alcoholism and its effects on them. They must acknowledge the pain they have suppressed for years and begin to express it.

Instead of focusing their attention on his drinking, they must shift it away from him and refocus it on themselves.

They must refuse to take any more responsibility for the alcoholic's behavior and no longer attempt to make him stop drinking or protect him from the painful consequences of his drinking.

1. No more pleading or nagging.
2. No more lectures or futile threats, which aren't backed up with inevitable consequences.
3. No more making excuses for the alcoholic's drinking. No more calling in sick for her when she is hung over.
4. No more keeping dinner warm or cleaning up vomit.

All of this may sound selfish for the family members to do - and perhaps it is - but paradoxically it creates the best chance they have to bring the alcoholic to sobriety.

Without a co-dependent family enabling his drinking, he may decide to seek treatment. There are no guarantees this will happen, but certainly what the family members have been doing for years hasn't worked.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Alcoholics Anonymous is not a "booze cure" or a psychological means of controlling one's excessive or obsessive drinking. It is a life-changing program, incepted from the Oxford Group movement during the mid 1930's. A.A. has modified the program for our own uses and affiliation.

The relative success of the A.A. program seems to be due to the fact that an alcoholic who no longer drinks has an exceptional faculty for "reaching" and helping an uncontrolled drinker. In simplest form, the A.A. program operates when a recovered alcoholic passes along the story of his or her own problem drinking, describes the sobriety he or she has found in A.A., and invites the newcomer to join the informal Fellowship.

The heart of the suggested program of personal recovery is contained in Twelve Steps describing the experience of the earliest members of the Society:

1. Newcomers are not asked to accept or follow these Twelve Steps in their entirety if they feel unwilling or unable to do so.
2. They are usually asked to keep an open mind, to attend meetings at which recovered alcoholics describe their personal experiences in achieving sobriety, and to read A.A. literature describing and interpreting the A.A. program.
3. A.A. members usually emphasize to newcomers that only problem drinkers themselves, individually, can determine whether or not they are in fact alcoholics.

At the same time, it is pointed out that all available medical testimony indicates that alcoholism is a progressive illness, that it cannot be cured in the ordinary sense of the term, but that it can be arrested through total abstinence from alcohol in any form.

It is an informal fellowship of alcoholic men and women banded as a group for one purpose only-to help other alcoholics to recover from their illness. An alcoholic who feels and wants to change his/her life can comfortably accept and apply the 12 step program to his benefit. Nothing is asked of the alcoholic approaching us save a desire on his part to get well. There are no fees or dues nor any belief in any particular view. It is a stream lined concept of medicine, psychiatry, religion, and our own experience of drinking and being in recovery, which an alcoholic can accept and live a life free of the obsession to drink.

To do so, requires certain attitudes, willingness, and acts on our parts.

It is a suggestion only program of four distinct phases:

1) Need (admission).
2) Surrender (submission).
3) Restitution.
4) Construction and Maintenance.

Phase #1 - Is covered in Step 1 - "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable" – and there is a need for a change!

Phase #2 - Includes the 2nd through the 7th steps which constitutes the phase of submission or surrender. Since we could not manage our own lives, of ourselves, we found ourselves to be powerless over alcohol; we were encouraged that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Others fellows tell us their experiences and share their deepest feelings with us and they stand, sober, clean-eyed, useful, confident and with certain radiance we envy and really want for ourselves. So, we WANT to believe it!

Of course, some persons could conceivably be a bit more startled at first by the reference to "being restored to sanity," but most of us finally conclude that in hearing of some of the experiences our new friends had during their drinking careers were anything but the actions of a rational person, and when we reflect upon our own actions and deeds prior to our own introduction to A.A., it is not difficult to recognize that we too, were also pretty well left out in the field!

Step #3 - "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God..."
This is the step, which tells the story as to whether we are going to be in A.A., or around A.A. Yes, we can attend meetings, visit the clubs, attend the social functions, but, unless we really take step #3, we are continuing to make up our own program.

So, here we are, making a decision which in itself is quite an accomplishment for the alcoholic, due to their incapacity to manage their own life due to their obsession - But - to make a decision to turn our life and our will over to the care of God is really asking very, very much of an alcoholic!

Rest assured, that if you are not ready and have not reached your "bottom" or extremity, and if you are not really "hurting more than you ever have," you are not about to take step #3. Another important feature enters here, in that you know now that there is a way out of your dilemma and this is bound to "work" on you as time goes on. You bring your body and mind will follow. At this point - your biggest problem is to overcome FEAR and "Let go and let God in."

Under the spiritual implications of the program it presents no difficulty to be accepted even by atheists and agnostics as we have found that strength can come out of weakness by relying on a individually understood Higher Power. Here this society of men and women understand each other by loosing the clamor of self in our great objective by learning patience, tolerance, honesty, humility and service to subdue our former masters of insecurity, resentment, and unsatisfied dream of power.

Prescription for sobriety consists of:

1. 12 steps practiced in all of our affairs-BB, p, 59-60
2. Trust Higher Power and clean house-BB, p, 98
3. Stay active in service-One day at a time for the rest of our life with a hand shake, smile and a hug as often as possible.

Recovery Guaranteed- Dr. Bob and Bill W.

ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequence of misfortune and we should be willing to have it. “B.B, Page, 449 says that when I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation or some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."

"In Steps One and Two of our recovery program, these ideas are specifically spelled out. We couldn't lick alcohol with our own remaining resources and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a higher power could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to fully accept these facts, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun. For most of us this pair of acceptances had required a lot of exertion to achieve. Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with old-fashioned willpower; it was instead a matter of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we were free. There had been no irretrievable disaster.

All issues, all disturbances, all conflicts can be handled by understanding what the problem is and accepting it, then changing it. As the saying goes, we are either part of the problem or part of the solution. When we are upset about something or someone, it is because we do not understand on a higher level but view it through our personality which is attached to our need to control things and see ourselves in a positive light.

If some facet of our life is unacceptable, and we have been up front in dealing with it to no avail, sometimes the only way through is to accept that this is so. We cannot find serenity when we are at war with someone or with ourselves. Nothing happens on this great green earth by mistake. Unless we accept our situation and learn from it, or we just cannot be happy. If we learn from it, then we need not beat ourselves up.

One way to get at the meaning of the principle of acceptance is to meditate upon it in the context of AA's much used serenity prayer. Essentially this is to ask for the resources of grace by which we may make spiritual progress under all conditions. Grace is not showered until and unless we get rid of the emotional baggage. It is an expression of Divine benevolence. The fullness of God’s grace is beyond human appreciation, comprehension or full knowledge. It is sought through prayer and devotion. Its descent is the ultimate Divine mystery, and no amount of austerities, no amount of intellectual search or performance or ritual or yogic praxis or any such devices can force it out of God’s hand. Liberation, while earned through devotion and good deeds, comes ultimately through Divine Grace. The riches of his goodness cannot be expressed in words or by mortal tongue. We can admire the beauty of Divine GRACE but cannot really explore its depths. The depth of the riches of his wisdom and knowledge are unreachable. Grace is governed by the Universal, eternal laws of nature, which do not show any partiality. We shall also see that life's formidable array of pains and problems will require many different degrees of acceptance as we try to apply this valued principle.

Sometimes we have to find the right kind of acceptance for each day. Sometimes we need to develop acceptance for what may come to pass tomorrow, and yet again we shall have to accept a condition that may never change. Then, too, there frequently has to be a right and realistic acceptance of grievous flaws within ourselves and serious faults within those about us - defects that may not be fully remedied for years, if ever.

All of us will encounter failures, some retrievable and some not. We shall often meet with defeat - sometimes by accident, sometimes self-inflicted, and at still other times dealt to us by the injustice and violence of other people. Most of us will meet up with some degree of worldly success, and here the problem of the right kind of acceptance will be really difficult.
It is always worthwhile to consider how grossly that good word acceptance can be misused. It can be warped to justify nearly every brand of weakness, nonsense, and folly. For instance, we can "accept" failure as a chronic condition, forever without profit or remedy. We can "accept" worldly success pride fully, as something wholly of our own making. We can also "accept" illness and death as certain evidence of a hostile and godless universe. With these twisting of acceptance, we AAs have had vast experience.

This kind of acceptance and faith is capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In fact it usually does; and it must, else we could have no life at all.

Therefore our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin.

They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Correct it or accept it."--"Whatever I do not accept rules me."--"Problem-solving requires that you first accept the problem."--"Acceptance is not condoning but acknowledging."-"Coping is complete acceptance."--"You can't begin until you begin to accept.

"Just because it should be, does not mean that it must be, as when the rain falls it cannot be put back into the clouds."

TWELVE STEP ACTION

Step One, Deflation at Depth.

Step Two, Willingness, Belief, and Seeking.

Step Three, Decision to Surrender.

Step Four, Self-examination.

Step Five, Confession.

Step Six, Conviction and Readiness to Change.

Step Seven, Humble Submission and Rebirth.

Step Eight, Willingness to Make Amends.

Step Nine, Restitution.

Step Ten, Daily Corrective Action.

Step Eleven, Prayer, Guidance, Growth, Power.

Step Twelve, Awakening, Witness, Practice of Principles.

The 12 Suggested Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

STEP ZERO

If you came in touch with A.A. the way we did, you really want what we have right away. It is enough for now, that you don't want what you have, and are ready to go to any lengths to get rid of it!

A.A. is a program of attraction, but many come to A.A. not because of attraction, but because they are repelled from the alcoholic life they already have.

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps. [Big Book, page 58, line 16]

1. That you want to be sober.
2. You must take these steps until they take you.

After all, it was agreed at the beginning that we would go to any length for victory over alcohol to find a spiritual experience. (BB, page 78 &79)

It is not our purpose to convince you to lay off alcohol. If your experience with alcohol hasn't yet taught what you need to learn, maybe you haven't graduated for A.A. Before you head for the pub, reconsider why you came in touch with us. May be your reasons are valid. Only you know if you want what alcohol has to offer you and what we have.

If still in doubt then ask the following questions;

1. Are you unable to drink moderately?
2. Have other methods of stopping failed?
3. Can you stop for loved ones or the warning from a doctor?
4. Do you believe that your body is as abnormal as your mind?
5. Are you restless, irritable, and discontented?
6. Do you become remorseful after a spree?
7. Do you believe you have lost the power to choose whether you will drink or not?
8. Do you think you can stop on a non-spiritual basis?

Unlike the booze, A.A. is not an all-or-nothing proposition-at least. You can see if the coercing forces (such as a boss, judge, nagging wife, doctor, etc.) that propelled you into A.A. are not yet appeased. Maybe you should hang out with us a little longer until they shape up.

30 days of abstinence may lead you to think that you just may not have a problem with alcohol, but if you experience physical or mental pain without alcohol, give yourself a chance. Be honest. Persist in abstinence until the pain is gone. Then you will be in a position of neutrality from which you can choose with clarity and objectivity. As a last resort, you may feel compelled to do more research by drinking. But, please come back before your life is totally destroyed or you die.

Most people coming to A.A. have reservations as to whether they should adopt our program of recovery. There are some myths we often hear that keeps alcoholics away:

1. I would rather not associate with a bunch of admitted alcoholics who have done some pretty sordid things, but I am a cut above.
2. I may not be alcoholic. I didn't drink as much as you AA’s did, and I have never been in jail. I do not have health, financial, legal, and or family problems.
3. My problems are with my environment (job, home, health, misfortune, etc.). Once these externals are fixed, I'll be fixed, too.
4. I need to find out why I drank before I do all that step stuff.
5. I am not prepared to shed all my self esteem by accepting the humiliation of admitting I am alcoholic. To the contrary, I need education and support, which will bring me to believe in myself again.
6. A.A. just might be a religious cult. All this God stuff is intrusive, ineffective, irrational and irrelevant.

While there may appear to be a superficial shred of truth to these statements, you will find that they are basically irrelevant and not factual. Hanging onto such reservations can kill you, if you are alcoholic. Why don't you let the odds be in your favor? Stay off the sauce; put your reservations on the back burner. And give yourself a chance to experience sobriety. We do not know of a single instance in which taking the steps of A.A. has ever injured anyone! If the results are not to your liking, you can always try something.

If you are one of the fortunate ones, you don't need to be convinced to stop drinking. You just want to know how. We'll show you that there's more to Quitting Drinking.

Just what are you willing to do?

1. Postpone your next drink of alcohol for the time remaining today?
2. Attend at least one A.A. meeting each day for few months?
3. Discontinue use of all other mind-altering substances (besides alcohol) unless at least one physician who is aware that you are trying to stay sober and who encourages you to do so prescribe them?
4. Seek out members of A.A. who seem to have good sobriety, and ask them daily for help in staying sober?
5. Study the Big Book and the 12 & 12 of A.A. each day, and take the steps under direction?
6. Set aside the natural reservations you have about following A.A. guidance.

Physical sobriety is not that simple. But, seeing the promises of sobriety materialize in your life, and discovering true peace within yourself call for taking the steps. Are you ready now?
Each of steps 1 through 9 builds upon the one(s) before, so take them in order-that is, 1, 2, 3, etc. Steps 10 through 12 should each be taken from the first day we enter AA and every day thereafter. Step 10 helps us to stop exercising our defects of character, thus preventing actions for which we might then have to make further amends. Step 11 guides us toward habitual prayer for God's direction. Step 12 inspires us to act in resonance with the principles of AA recovery and toward usefulness to others instead of being mired in self. Once we have taken ALL the steps, the primary goal of our sober journey becomes a reality and awakens you to spirituality.

We don't just leap into sublime sobriety. We get there one day and one step at a time. And, just as there is always someone on the step above you to give you a hand, it is usually a good idea for you to pull one or two others up to your current step. They can then give you a boost to your next step.
One should plan on being well into the ninth step during first year.
Steps 10 through 12 daily will keep you occupied for the rest of your days.
"How long will it take to be sober?”
It all depends on you but remember there is no cure of this disease, you will be in recovery all your life and there is no graduation from this program. The aim of the program is to go beyond sobriety in becoming a better human.

So Be it.

STEP ONE

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that the drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove that one could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

It is believed that the action of alcohol is due to obsession of mind of these chronic alcoholics and is a manifestation of an allergy of the body. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all. Once having formed the habit they found that they cannot break it due to loss of their self-confidence, reliance upon human things, and thus their problems pile up and become difficult to solve.

It is known that the alcoholic may keep away from drink, for months or years, he reacts much like any other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

If still in doubt then ask the following questions to yourself:

1. Are you unable to drink moderately?
2. Have other methods of stopping failed?
3. Can you stop for loved ones or the warning from a doctor?
4. Do you believe that your body is as abnormal as your mind?
5. Are you restless, irritable, and discontented?
6. Do you become remorseful after a spree?
7. Do you believe you have lost the power to choose whether you will drink or not?
8. Do you think you can stop on a non-spiritual basis?

This step has two parts:

1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.

2. Our lives had become unmanageable.

POWERLESSNESS

This specific powerlessness over alcohol that we are admitting is needs willingness, honesty, open mindedness, and complete defeat. Admission of the powerlessness is not a sign of weakness but obviously of strength of the individual as every lower instinct cries about this admission. Our admission of this powerlessness turns to be hard bedrock on which happy purpose life can be built.

Writing about the incidents of being drunk is a very powerful way to bring these incidents to the front of our memory and consciousness. Doing this in writing it further helps us to remember still more times when the same thing happened and is an invaluable tool in recovery.

It is the result of release of chemical neurotransmitters by the brain cells as a result of stimulation caused by food, sex, drugs, and social esteem. Brain cells release Dopamine and or Endorphins, which flood and bathe the neurons of right ventral tegmental area and prefrontal cortex involved in memory and emotion regarding the above-mentioned activities causing pleasurable feelings of joy, while the amygdale, associated with fear, was temporarily inhibited.

You now have the physical evidence as to why you feel high when you take a drink. You now have the physical and scientific evidence that explains why a certain percentage of all types of personalities, from all sorts of occupations, short, tall, fat, skinny, develop alcoholism once they start drinking. Literature and experience shows us that our upbringing, our schooling, our family, our religion etc. has absolutely nothing to do with our alcoholism. We can no more prevent this through will power than anyone can eat a large box of laxative and then refuse to go to the toilet.

Unmanageability

As we learn about our powerlessness and begin to grow we come to see that in many ways our lives remain unmanageable---to one degree or another. Now, alcoholics who still have their health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars in their garage began to recognize their alcoholism before they hit the bottom of their life. This drinking was not merely a habit but indeed the progression of a fatal malady.

Bill Wilson says: The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success." So he is calling step one "self will, the problem, and is no good but in fact is a liability. We must understand that unmanageability is inextricably linked with self-will. That is, the greater our self will, the greater our unmanageability. And the less our self will (and the greater God's will) the more our lives are manageable. But we have to keep remembering that our life is manageable, not by us but with the Will of God or Higher Power. This is certainly a prime description of self will run riot, and it explains to a very large degree how we act to get our way. "This is the why and how of it. First of all we had to quit playing God. It didn't work.
Then, and only then, do we become open minded to the conviction and willing to listen as the dying can be? Now we stand ready to do any thing to lift the merciless obsession from us.

STEP TWO

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

AA does not demand that you believe in any thing. All the 12 steps are just suggestions. So it is by circumstance rather than by virtue that we have been driven to AA, and admitted defeat. After reading (pg.47) ask yourself again "Do I now believe, or am I willing to believe, that there is a power greater than myself?" If we still cannot believe, go back to (pg. 52) look at our own life (first step). Self-righteousness, the very thing that we had contemptuously condemned in others was our own besetting evil.

At no time we had asked what God’s will was for us: instead we had been telling Him what ought to be. Defiance is the outstanding characteristic of alcoholics. Sometimes it’s because God has not delivered the good things we have asked for as greedy child asking Santa and then asked "What if God is nothing." And lost faith. True humility and an open mind lead us to faith. Humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we place humility first. Humility is not less thinking of your self but thinking of your self less.

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people and until we have touched the bottom, we would have not surrendered as the first step and let go our ego. Now alcoholics like me who still have their health, families, jobs/retirement and two cars in the garage has started recognizing the problem of alcoholism. Then read again and ask yourself, "What if God is everything." (pg.53) Lack of Power was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be obviously a Power greater than ourselves. But where and how were we to find this Power? (pg.45). Now make a choice. God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be? (pg.53)

Are you now convinced?

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. (Step 1)
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought. (Step 2)

My friend suggested, “Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"
That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!

STEP THREE

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one was felt at once. (pg.63)

Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless followed by effort to face, get of rid the things in us blocking the entry of God in our lives. Our liquor was just a symptom.

“All that Happens and will happen, is by His Will, whatever we could not do by our selves, we would with His Will.”

Willingness, honesty, open mind, and humility are indispensable principles to accept God’s Will. The important key to live under the Will of God is Willingness. It unlocks the door, which then opens itself. Looking through this door, one shall see a pathway with an inscription. This is the way to a Faith That Works. This needs acceptance, which in itself is a big chapter. It does not mean liking a situation; it is just an acknowledgement of reality and hope that it will pass. This pathway needs affirmative action, that we can cut away the self-will blocking the entry of God in our lives. Faith is necessary but alone it can avail nothing. We can have faith and can still keep God out of our lives. We have to turn our will and lives to the care of God. Thy Will be done.

He alone is carried across, within whose mind the Lord abides, that alone happens, which is pleasing to His Will. And accepting whatever God does, I accept as good. I have eradicated all egotistical pride from my mind.

To every worldly and practical minded, it looks hard and even impossible. It just needs a little beginning with the key of willingness. This all sounds mysterious and remote. But this very thing bolsters our lower instincts with egotism and frustrating our spiritual progress. The moment our mental and emotional independence is in question, how differently we behave. We think that no body can meddle with our personal independence. We are certain that our intelligence backed by will power can rightly control over the inner lives and guarantee its success in the world we live in. But think, how well does it work? Everywhere people seem to suffer from anger, resentments, and ego, and fear, unnecessary arguments that, I am right and you are wrong. It is by circumstances rather than by virtue that we are here. When we are disturbed about something or someone, it is because we do not understand on a higher level but view it through our personality, which is attached to our need to control things and see ourselves in a positive light. We cannot find serenity when we are at war with someone or with our selves, as our emotional state does not allow us to think straight and pertinent. Nor do we need to beat up others with blame words. We need to concentrate on our part of the situation; what needs to be changed in our way of thinking and having done so, happiness will follow.
Accepting the Will of God, one attains peace, and the darkness of doubt is dispelled.

Nothing short of right action can bring the desired result. Our whole trouble has been misuse of the self-willpower. We have tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it in to agreement with God’s intentions for us. God’s Will, will help us conquering the ignorance, pride and intellect. Everything happens according to the Will of the Lord; no one has any say in this at all.

By ourselves, we cannot do anything at all. As it pleases the Lord, He preserves us. O my Dear Lord, every thing is in Your power. I have no power to do any thing at all. As it pleases you, forgive us. You Yourself bless us with soul, body and everything. You Yourself cause us to act. As You issue Your commands, so do we act. With out virtuous deeds one cannot gain any thing useful in spite of running around. Your higher power cause you to understand, while others, the self-willed, do their deeds and cry out in pain.

This is not a fatalistic or passive approach to life. We may very well be given seemingly insurmountable obstacles in life in order to learn what we can, by overcoming them. But if we face these obstacles with a basic acceptance, we are much more likely to possess the calmness of mind necessary to see with some clarity the most skillful means of overcoming them. What keeps us constantly struggling with life is the attitude of non-acceptance, of not trusting the basic process of life unfolding. We suffer under the false assumption that the goal of life is to always avoid what we find unpleasant and to try to dwell in constant comfort. We don't really understand that life is nothing personal. It is much bigger than that. We need to learn to trust in and surrender to this impersonal process we tend to think of as "my life.”

Question arises, what is the need to do anything when things work only according to the “Will of God'. If God wants us to do well, we will do well and good; if God wants us to do badly and evil, we will do bad and evil. So once we surrender to Lord’s will, its God’s responsibility."

Answer is, Big No.

We have the responsibility to make choices-- good or bad.

Whereas, certain things are beyond our control-- those are laws of nature, which cannot be broken by any one and are laid down according to Lord’s Will or Order. These laws are blind but their justice is even handed. So that's what is all about accepting and "surrendering to Will of God and “let go" with understanding it.

Making a good choice:

In making a good choice one has to get rid of the ego (Self) and be humble to accept Its Will. When letting go the ego erases selfishness and conceit, peace comes, and the mind and body are healed.

Making a bad Choice:

Self willed individuals usually make a bad choice and knowing fully well come to wrong decisions in life, made by negative thought process and thus block the entry of God in the life of the individual. People tie up bundles of demerits; no one deals in virtue. Rare is that person, who purchases virtue. Usually the individual knows everything, and knowing, he still makes mistakes. What good is a lamp in one's hand, if he falls into the well?

3rd step prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.

May I do Thy will always!

We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet God alone than with one who might misunderstand. The wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we expressed the idea, voicing it without reservation.