The Elimination of the Ego-Self

My sponsor was trying to explain to me about the steps, especially the 6th and 7th, and how I was going to have to learn to give up all my old ideas of how things should or should not be. Ideas that I had been holding onto in a desperate attempt to maintain an identity. I remarked at one point in our conversation, "Hell, you are trying to eliminate me!!" He very quietly replied, "If we could eliminate YOU, you would have it all!!" Of course, I didn't understand that at the time, but today I do. The continued practice of the Steps has substantially accomplished this and eliminated the old clawing, clinging, scrapping, unloving and unlovable ME, and given me a loving I AM that is so much more than I could ever have imagined at the time.

It means that I must be diligently attuned to acquiring the teachings of AA, to incorporating the principles and ideals into my way of life, so that I can give away what I have learned, in order that I may keep it. We are all learners and we are all teachers.

I know that for years as a drunk, I was constantly defending my ego-image of SELF...a very false image and I knew it. It wasn't until I had been in AA for some time, practicing the steps to the best of my ability that I began to realize that as my ego defense walls came down, life got a lot better. From this it came to me that the best defense in all situations was defenselessness...total elimination of the false ego-image of SELF, or as Bill wrote, ego deflation in depth. In the beginning it is hard work, but the fellowship of other members in meetings, live face-to-face, or on the phone, provides a cohesive support group to help us continue on in life a day at a time- losing only the unfruitful part of the self, our defects of character.

Consistent application of the Steps, and in particular the daily review of the 10th Step and the meditation of the 11th Step, is a marvelous agency of personal change. It contributes a distinctive, fourfold, creative encounter that shapes the process of change.

First, it provides a setting of rigorous honesty that soon exposes how much we have been distorted by the I-Me-Mine complex.

Second, in our quiet place, open and free of distractions, as we review each day in meditation, our own insights then disclose how insubstantial and lacking in continuity these distortions really are.

Third, as we interact with our sponsor and other members it provides ways to work off these dysfunctions in daily life practice.

Fourth, it provides a setting amongst our fellows that is intrinsically so much more appealing than the life we had been leading, that the seeker of sobriety tends to stay the course, no matter what happens and who’s Spirit has been awakened, more actualized, buoyant, and compassionate. Where did the partisan self of the Me generation has gone to the We generation.

Still, any member's progress is uneven at best. Backsliding into old reactive habit patterns occurs, as Denial creeps back in the mind.

From these perspectives, the AA approach would seem a slow process of unlearning and personal restructuring. The beginning member, it turns out, is first simply learning how to unlearn. Then the receptive process of relearning opens up. As it unfolds on its own, it seems to reconnect the person with what we are now, new and vital relationships. Yet, they are the ones that have always been there. We are life's ageless, immanent, everyday miracles. We are "The Beloved!!" We are the One we have been waiting for!!

• ABANDONE YOURSELF TO GOD AS YOU UNDERSTAND GOD.
• ADMIT YOUR FAULTS TO HIM AND YOUR FELLOWS.
• CLEAR AWAY THE WRECKAGE OF YOUR PAST.
• GIVE FREELY WHAT YOU FIND AND JOIN US.