STEP ONE

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that the drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove that one could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

It is believed that the action of alcohol is due to obsession of mind of these chronic alcoholics and is a manifestation of an allergy of the body. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all. Once having formed the habit they found that they cannot break it due to loss of their self-confidence, reliance upon human things, and thus their problems pile up and become difficult to solve.

It is known that the alcoholic may keep away from drink, for months or years, he reacts much like any other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

If still in doubt then ask the following questions to yourself:

1. Are you unable to drink moderately?
2. Have other methods of stopping failed?
3. Can you stop for loved ones or the warning from a doctor?
4. Do you believe that your body is as abnormal as your mind?
5. Are you restless, irritable, and discontented?
6. Do you become remorseful after a spree?
7. Do you believe you have lost the power to choose whether you will drink or not?
8. Do you think you can stop on a non-spiritual basis?

This step has two parts:

1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.

2. Our lives had become unmanageable.

POWERLESSNESS

This specific powerlessness over alcohol that we are admitting is needs willingness, honesty, open mindedness, and complete defeat. Admission of the powerlessness is not a sign of weakness but obviously of strength of the individual as every lower instinct cries about this admission. Our admission of this powerlessness turns to be hard bedrock on which happy purpose life can be built.

Writing about the incidents of being drunk is a very powerful way to bring these incidents to the front of our memory and consciousness. Doing this in writing it further helps us to remember still more times when the same thing happened and is an invaluable tool in recovery.

It is the result of release of chemical neurotransmitters by the brain cells as a result of stimulation caused by food, sex, drugs, and social esteem. Brain cells release Dopamine and or Endorphins, which flood and bathe the neurons of right ventral tegmental area and prefrontal cortex involved in memory and emotion regarding the above-mentioned activities causing pleasurable feelings of joy, while the amygdale, associated with fear, was temporarily inhibited.

You now have the physical evidence as to why you feel high when you take a drink. You now have the physical and scientific evidence that explains why a certain percentage of all types of personalities, from all sorts of occupations, short, tall, fat, skinny, develop alcoholism once they start drinking. Literature and experience shows us that our upbringing, our schooling, our family, our religion etc. has absolutely nothing to do with our alcoholism. We can no more prevent this through will power than anyone can eat a large box of laxative and then refuse to go to the toilet.

Unmanageability

As we learn about our powerlessness and begin to grow we come to see that in many ways our lives remain unmanageable---to one degree or another. Now, alcoholics who still have their health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars in their garage began to recognize their alcoholism before they hit the bottom of their life. This drinking was not merely a habit but indeed the progression of a fatal malady.

Bill Wilson says: The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success." So he is calling step one "self will, the problem, and is no good but in fact is a liability. We must understand that unmanageability is inextricably linked with self-will. That is, the greater our self will, the greater our unmanageability. And the less our self will (and the greater God's will) the more our lives are manageable. But we have to keep remembering that our life is manageable, not by us but with the Will of God or Higher Power. This is certainly a prime description of self will run riot, and it explains to a very large degree how we act to get our way. "This is the why and how of it. First of all we had to quit playing God. It didn't work.
Then, and only then, do we become open minded to the conviction and willing to listen as the dying can be? Now we stand ready to do any thing to lift the merciless obsession from us.