STEP FOUR

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of us.

Honesty is the major distinction between those who recover and those who don’t. It calls for a thorough appraisal of one’s life. Dishonesty will make this step painful towards sobriety, because sweeping garbage under the carpet will smell later. With a fearless inventory both healthy and destructive patterns of life will become evident. This step may need to be re-done as one progress in sobriety during a crisis.

Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations. (pg.64). Creation gave us instincts for a purpose. Without them we wouldn't be complete human beings. (12 & 12 pg.42) These instincts, so necessary for our existence often far exceed their proper functions. Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives. 12 & 12 pg.42) Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct which has turned into physical and mental liabilities. (12 & 12 pg.42) We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused us and others. By discovering our emotional deformities, we can move toward their correction, consisting of resentments, fear and ego. There can be no sobriety or contentment without willingness and persistent effort. Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, we have found that the faith is still out of reach.

Resentments are the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than any thing else. We have been affected physically, mentally, and have become spiritually bankrupt and sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. In dealing with resentments, we write them on paper involving people, institutions and principles.

A Pre-inventory Prayer:
God, please show me your will and help me write this inventory. Help me see beyond what I think I know about myself and show me the real truth about myself, Please help me face and be rid of the things in myself which has been blocking me from You, other people and myself.
Please, grace me with patience, tolerance, faith, strength and courage, which I may have the Power I require to write inventory. Please remove my fear and ego, which blocks me from seeing the truth about myself. Please keep me safe and protected as I search for an experience, the real truth about myself.

RESENTMENT INVENTORY

column one List people, institutions or principles with which I was angry.
column two Why we were angry.
column three That our self-esteem , our pocketbooks , our ambitions, our personal relationships including sex were hurt or threatened.
column four
Ego & Security; Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened, self-pity, self-justification, criticizing, procrastination, impatience, negative thinking, vulgar thinking, gossiping, etc.

4th Step Prayer:

We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity,

and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.

When a person offended we said to ourselves,

"This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him?

God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

Fear inventory:

1. We put them on paper and ask ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us and didn't fully solve the fear problem?
2. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns.

Sex inventory:

column 1:Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt?
column 2: Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?
column 3: Where were we at fault (selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate)
column 4: What should we have done instead?

We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. We got this all down on paper and looked at it.

We tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life.

We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them.

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem.

In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter.

Prayer should not be selfish for personal material gain so that one may not loose faith in higher power, if unfulfilled.