ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequence of misfortune and we should be willing to have it. “B.B, Page, 449 says that when I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation or some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."

"In Steps One and Two of our recovery program, these ideas are specifically spelled out. We couldn't lick alcohol with our own remaining resources and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a higher power could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to fully accept these facts, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun. For most of us this pair of acceptances had required a lot of exertion to achieve. Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with old-fashioned willpower; it was instead a matter of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we were free. There had been no irretrievable disaster.

All issues, all disturbances, all conflicts can be handled by understanding what the problem is and accepting it, then changing it. As the saying goes, we are either part of the problem or part of the solution. When we are upset about something or someone, it is because we do not understand on a higher level but view it through our personality which is attached to our need to control things and see ourselves in a positive light.

If some facet of our life is unacceptable, and we have been up front in dealing with it to no avail, sometimes the only way through is to accept that this is so. We cannot find serenity when we are at war with someone or with ourselves. Nothing happens on this great green earth by mistake. Unless we accept our situation and learn from it, or we just cannot be happy. If we learn from it, then we need not beat ourselves up.

One way to get at the meaning of the principle of acceptance is to meditate upon it in the context of AA's much used serenity prayer. Essentially this is to ask for the resources of grace by which we may make spiritual progress under all conditions. Grace is not showered until and unless we get rid of the emotional baggage. It is an expression of Divine benevolence. The fullness of God’s grace is beyond human appreciation, comprehension or full knowledge. It is sought through prayer and devotion. Its descent is the ultimate Divine mystery, and no amount of austerities, no amount of intellectual search or performance or ritual or yogic praxis or any such devices can force it out of God’s hand. Liberation, while earned through devotion and good deeds, comes ultimately through Divine Grace. The riches of his goodness cannot be expressed in words or by mortal tongue. We can admire the beauty of Divine GRACE but cannot really explore its depths. The depth of the riches of his wisdom and knowledge are unreachable. Grace is governed by the Universal, eternal laws of nature, which do not show any partiality. We shall also see that life's formidable array of pains and problems will require many different degrees of acceptance as we try to apply this valued principle.

Sometimes we have to find the right kind of acceptance for each day. Sometimes we need to develop acceptance for what may come to pass tomorrow, and yet again we shall have to accept a condition that may never change. Then, too, there frequently has to be a right and realistic acceptance of grievous flaws within ourselves and serious faults within those about us - defects that may not be fully remedied for years, if ever.

All of us will encounter failures, some retrievable and some not. We shall often meet with defeat - sometimes by accident, sometimes self-inflicted, and at still other times dealt to us by the injustice and violence of other people. Most of us will meet up with some degree of worldly success, and here the problem of the right kind of acceptance will be really difficult.
It is always worthwhile to consider how grossly that good word acceptance can be misused. It can be warped to justify nearly every brand of weakness, nonsense, and folly. For instance, we can "accept" failure as a chronic condition, forever without profit or remedy. We can "accept" worldly success pride fully, as something wholly of our own making. We can also "accept" illness and death as certain evidence of a hostile and godless universe. With these twisting of acceptance, we AAs have had vast experience.

This kind of acceptance and faith is capable of producing 100 percent sobriety. In fact it usually does; and it must, else we could have no life at all.

Therefore our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin.

They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

"Correct it or accept it."--"Whatever I do not accept rules me."--"Problem-solving requires that you first accept the problem."--"Acceptance is not condoning but acknowledging."-"Coping is complete acceptance."--"You can't begin until you begin to accept.

"Just because it should be, does not mean that it must be, as when the rain falls it cannot be put back into the clouds."