FORGIVENESS

FORGIVENESS

Where there is greed, there is death. Where there is forgiveness, there is God Himself.

The Forgiveness Process is a FREELY MADE CHOICE AND DECISION to no longer continue to harm or punish yourself, nor to continue to diminish your overflowing love, joy, vitality through you or freedom because of the real or imagined wrongs and behavior done by others, or because of any outer circumstances.

A. What it is:

• Moral -it is a response to a moral injustice.
• Goodwill -Merciful restraint from pursuing resentment or revenge.
• Paradoxical -as we give the gift of forgiveness we ourselves are healed.
• Beyond duty. -The overcoming of wrongdoing with good.

B. What it is not:

• Forgetting/Denial.
• Condoning nothing that bad happened. It was only this one time. It won't happen again.
• Excusing the person did this because...it wasn't really their responsibility.
• Condemning they/she/he deserves to know they have wronged me/us.
• Seeking Justice or Compensation
Forgiveness is not a quid pro quo deal--it doesn't demand compensation.
C. Important Distinction:
• Forgiveness: One person's moral response to another's injustice
• Reconciliation: Two parties coming together in mutual respect.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.
Forgiveness works! It is often difficult, BUT it works!

To err is human, to forgive is Divine." Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing to waste my energy further on this matter?" If the answer is "No," then that's it!

Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It is not necessary for forgiveness to begin the process that heals the hurt. Forgiveness has little or nothing to do with another person because forgiveness is an internal matter. You do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable.

There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!

When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven owns you! The choice to forgive is only and always yours. The hurt won't heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongdoing that produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For some, it may take years. Regardless of the situation, making peace with past love partners, your parents, children, your boss or anyone who you think may have "done you wrong" is the only way to improve your chances of a "healthy" relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter!

Non-forgiveness keeps you in the struggle. Being willing to forgive can bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiety and delivers you from depression. It can enhance your self-esteem and give you hope.

Forgive and forget is a myth. You may never forget AND you can choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from prisoners of the past to liberated people at peace with our memories. It is not forgetfulness, but it involves accepting the promise that the future can be more than dwelling on memories of past injury. You can never live in the present and create a new and exciting future for yourself if you always stay stuck in the past.

Want peace of mind? Forgive. The same energy you use to hold on (to not forgive) is the same energy you need to create a new and exciting relationship TOGETHER; a relationship anchored in unconditional love. It is not surrender, but a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment.
Forgiveness is the key to your own happiness. Forgiving someone else takes moral courage, and its power can change misery into happiness in an instant. Forgiveness means choosing to let go, move on, and favor the positive. The act of forgiveness constitutes a mental bath, letting go of something that can only poison us within.

Research has shown that people who are deeply and unjustly hurt by others can heal emotionally and, in some cases, physically by forgiving their offender.

Forgiveness breaks the cycle of hatred, resentment, anger and pain that is often passed on to those around you.

To exercise forgiveness is a great act. There is no virtue equal to forgiveness.

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime:

Therefore we are saved by hope.

Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history:

Therefore we are saved by faith.

Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.

Therefore we are saved by love.

No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friends or foe as our own:

Therefore, the final form of love saves us, which is FORGIVENESS.-----Reinhold Niebuhr

It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend. The weaker can never forgive. It is the attribute of strength. The secret of forgiving is to understand nothing. There is no revenge as complete as forgiveness. There is no potent weapon than forgiveness. It is not an emotion but a decision. Nothing annoys an enemy as forgiveness. It is giving up a right to hurt you for hurting me. Once rendered it should never be brought up. It warms the heart and cools the sting. He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass. There is no point in burying the hatchet if you are going to put up a marker at the site. However there comes a time in the process of emotional resolution for forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only thing, which can move us out of victim stance and free us to move on requiring psychological and deep spiritual work. It will lead to a feeling of strength and becoming a more loving person than you might have been if you hadn’t been so hurt. Forgiveness leads to gratitude. Anger makes one smaller, while forgiveness forces one to grow beyond what one is. Forgiveness can be the means by which the mind is returned to humility. It is more than letting frustrations of your shoulders and it involves creating a habit of leaving the past in the past and moving forward with a clean slate with seeing good in the present by taking out yourself out of a self pitying victim mind set, which is a powerful first step towards forgiveness.

Humility is the word, forbearance the virtue, civility the priceless Spell and combination of these three is the way to your higher power. The most excellent people make kindness their deity and Forgiveness their rosary beads.