STEP FIVE

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Why? This step is genuinely therapeutic. "Confession" was one of the six steps in the Oxford Group, one of the sources from which A.A. sprang. There is some kind of essential mystical property in the act of opening up completely to another human being. There is a sense of initiating the cleansing process in step 5. You have undoubtedly heard that your sickness cannot be removed completely until your deepest secret is purged. This is absolutely true!

In conjunction with your step 4, the bringing in of another person makes a lot of sense. You have done your very best to write out acts, thoughts and emotions which will need to be corrected and which will help to identify your defects of character. You have done the very best you could. Nevertheless, only the most achieved human can see himself in total objective truth. The keys to your behavior, often so obscure to you, will seem to jump out to the attention of your fifth step partner, especially if he has heard a fifth before with others. So, a major benefit is the feedback that will help you as you proceed to later steps.

"We...go to it, illuminating every twist of character...withholding nothing. "B.B. Page, 75

All of AA steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires-they all deflate our egos. If we have come to know how our wrong thinking and actions have hurt others, and us then time has come to quit living by ourselves and have to talk to some one about them. Every body has to confess their own. Alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Too much guilt and remorse might cause us to dramatize and exaggerate our shortcomings.

Genuine Humility, Fearlessness, Tolerance, Straight Thinking and Solid Honesty are main part of this step. Prudence is a virtue .

If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Even the old timers having persevered with the rest of the program, wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They thought that having lost their egoism and fear; had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense that it is necessary, to tell someone else their entire life story (pg.73 BB).

With whom? It makes sense to take this step with your sponsor or a person to whom you will turn for guidance in the future. When they are informed by the step and future discussions, they can help you see your patterns and provide the continuity that is necessary for unlearning old habits and initiating new (and healthy) ones. When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. We have a written inventory and we are prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it. He should realize that we are engaged upon a life-and-death errand (pg.75).

We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. (pg.75)

We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better; we now see what have been blocking us from Him.

Ask God if we have omitted anything (prayer and meditation) in your own words containing complete willingness to believe there is a Power greater than ourselves (pg.47). God is going to be our director (pg.62).

Read page 66 of B.B. again.

1. The world is, indeed imperfect, and our lives have been touched by injustice. Our typical reaction has been to try to fix the world. When that didn't work—it never does—we got good and sore and bitched and drank at it. Only in sobriety have we learned there is but one thing in this universe that we can and must try to influence. You guessed it—self. Many of us have then discovered a miraculous truth. When we set about to have our Creator manage our lives, we are often empowered with incredible influence over people near us and in the world around us. The catch (wouldn't you know there would be one) is that we must not attempt to exercise self-will.

2. The power of resentment far exceeds any conception we had of negative thinking. Were you aware that:
 a) A life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.
 b) The hours in which we allow futility and unhappiness in our lives are not worth while.
     c) Resentments waste our lives.
  d) Resentments shut us off from the sunlight of the Spirit, thereby preventing the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience.
 e)When shadowed from the sunlight of the Spirit, the insanity of alcohol returns, we drink again, and we die.
 f) Harboring of resentments is fatal.

Writing: for once, there is no writing you need to do in advance of step five other than your inventory. Note, though, that at the conclusion of your presentation be sure that you have at least three pieces of paper to take home with you:

1. The first will be a list of your defects of character. If you like, use the list on the next page by checking off the character defects that apply to you. This list will guide steps 6 and 7.

2. You should also have a preliminary list of persons you have harmed for step 8 (This will be a combination of the sexual injury [4d] and persons you have harmed lists [4e] from step 4.).

3. Retrieve a list of the names of the persons you still resent. You will probably find it necessary to forgive them in order for the resentment to be removed.

Defects of Character

Abusing others, Fear, Pessimism, Anger, Filthy-mindedness, Prejudice, Arguing, Gluttony, Pride, Arrogance, Gossiping, Procrastination, Boasting, Greed, Recklessness, Cheating, Hate, Resentment, Closed-mindedness, Hopelessness, Revenge, Cold-heartedness, Immodesty, Sarcasm, Complaining,
Impatience, Secretiveness, Controlling others, Injustice, Self condemnation, Corrupt companions, Insincerity, Self-indulgence, Cowardice, Insulting, Self-justification, Criticizing, Intolerance,       Self-pity, Dependency, Irresponsibility, Selfishness, Destructiveness, Jealousy, Sloth, Deviousness, Laziness, Theft, Dishonesty, Lewdness, Thrill-seeking, Enviousness, Lust, Thoughtlessness,
Exaggeration, Lying, Uncleanness, Excess, Meddling, Vulgarity, Fanaticism, Miserliness, Waste, Favoritism, Negative thinking .

5th step prayer

God, please remove my fear and ego, help me to be honest and thorough

Please, show me the faith, strength and courage for what we are about to do

Please, help me share every twist of character every dark cranny of the past

Please, help me to be humble, fearless and honest, withholding nothing.

(Meditate for few minutes)

5th step prayers of thanks

God, Thank you for the faith, strength and courage I needed to get through this 5 step.                  Thank you God; from the bottom of my heart for helping me to know you better. God;                         I now see what has been blocking me from you. Please show me if I have omitted anything,               was I honest,

               did I tell every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Do I have complete willingness?

(Take some time to meditate)

God, do I believe that I am powerless,

and that am willing to live in the solution.

That for me there is no middle-of-the-road solution.

God, do I believe in my heart that there is a Power greater than myself.

That you are the Power, of me and I am nothing.

God, you are my director and I am your agent.

(Take Some Time to Meditate)